Life Lessons with the Leboffes

New Space

2011-06-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

Hi. We've moved! Until I figure out the technical way to cyber-swoop you over to our new blog, find us here!

Hair Cut; One Bit!

2011-06-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

I finally broke down. I didn't want to. I REALLY didn't want to. But there is little more irritating in life than having bangs in your eyes. So, we plunked Josiah down in his highchair and gave him his first hair cut. Just a little bang trim, taking his emo bangs out of his eyes.

Now he can see unimpeded. It's going to take a while for me to adjust. He doesn't look like my same baby. Honestly when I look at him with his straight-cut bangs I instantly see two things: 1. a picture of Nate when he was a toddler 2. Lloyd Christmas.

If you think the latter, but find it unkosher to say, it's okay. You can say it. We think so too.

Memorial Day

2011-06-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

The first half of Memorial Day the kids spent marathon napping while Nate worked on a little of that bathroom remodel that got started a year ago and I alternated between reading and watching dramedies on Netflix. That in itself would have made a lovely vacation, but we decided to do what so many natives don't do on Memorial Day; go to the beach!

We're getting better at packing more quickly for an afternoon at the beach. This time it only took us 45 minutes (said with ironic tone of voice) and the only thing that got left behind were Selah's sunglasses.

If she looks red in the picture it's not a sunburn so don't be alarmed. It's just a fever. Yes, we took her to the beach anyway. So, maybe be alarmed. It was worth hearing the extra whines. Nate and I were doing our best dancing monkey impressions and histrionic renditions of "wow, isn't this so fun!" as we built a family sand castle and watched the tide fill our moat. Fever was not impressed.

Yes, that's Josiah enjoying his favorite activity; eating unknown objects.

While we were there I began to wonder when fear comes into our lives. Fear. Exploration. Reasoning. Feeling. After a traumatizing ride on the Disneyland Finding Nemo sub and a few visits to watch Shamu, Selah Grace is seriously scared to get in the water. Even her ankles.

Josiah happy screams in response to the crash of the wave break and runs at the receding tide, as if daring it to come farther into his territory. There is no fear.

I hope he always finds so much exuberant joy in life. I hope he continues to run toward the good things and doesn't shrink away from the loud crashes. As a mom it's scary to say I hope he remains fearless. Instead I'll say that I hope he always dreams fearlessly, but in the daily things, a little common sense would be nice.

Baby Work

2011-05-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

Josiah's been working hard around here this weekend. One of his words these days is, "INNNNN." Not only has he been using it to the max, he's been busy doing it.

What does this pile of toys have in common with daddy's guitar? They all came from "INNN"side daddy's guitar.

And he's sneaky about it too. We never see it happen, we just shake the guitar every night and unload the loot. (The picture below was a set-up for photo memories.)

Now if only he could stealth deposit things in helpful places like money in our bank account...We're thankful it's toys in the guitar though. Selah Grace was known for hiding old snacks in small pockets and drawers. NOT as nice to find later.

Can Someone PLEASE Get Me Some GummyBear Juice!

2011-05-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

Each morning when I open the fridge at a groggy 5:30 to get Josiah's big boy cup of whole milk I look for it. It's never there, but I still hope. A little vile of gummy bear juice to get me going. To kick the foggy/groggy head and dead-weight body into action! One day those bounding bears will leave me a little bottle of love and for a few minutes I will remember what it feels like to feel AWAKE and powerful in my body! In the meantime, here's to my fellow under-slept, over-caffeinated parents who are bouncing here and there and everywhere despite the lack of gummy juice! Cheers!

Kid Craft: Cuff Tutorial!

2011-05-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Selah Grace and I have been having fun mixing trendy fashion with a kid-friendly craft these past few weeks making felt cuffs.

Throwing a 4th of July BBQ this year and want the kids to create something fun? Try these!

Step 1: Cut Strip of Felt

Felt strip should be a few inches wide and long enough to wrap around child's arm. Wrap felt band around child's arm to measure and cut length.

Step 2: Make Button Fastener

Cut a small slit 1/2 inch in from one end. Cut a slightly larger slit 1/2 inch in from the other end. These will be your button holes.

Take a button, and a small piece of pipe cleaner.

Thread the pipe cleaner through the button hole, twist the back a few times, leaving a little pipe cleaner untwisted to create a brad effect.

Treating the button/pipe cleaner combo like a brad, put it through the small slit on the felt cuff and splay on back to secure.

Step 3: Decorate!

Now for the fun part! We used sticky-backed felt shape cut-outs and glitter glue. Go to town with embellishment! You can use: glitter glue pens, sticky-backed felt shape cut-outs, buttons, foamies, fabric markers, ribbon, pretty much anything in your scrap bins! If you don't have sticky-backed felt you can just cut shapes out of regular felt and use white glue to adhere them.

Selah Grace wanted some pom-pom ribbon on hers so I hot-glued it for her.

Happy girl with her party cuff!

This project is really simple, very cheap, and can be modified to fit almost any theme or age. Try making gladiator warrior cuffs or birthday cuffs with numbers for their new age. Older tweens cans layer ribbons, lace, and buttons to create fun fashion cuffs for a more mature look.

Mamas, try layering together some eyelet lace, lace, and a victorian-looking button for a mama version. Or a man's tie with simple button for a sophisticated look. More mama cuff tutorials to come. In the meantime, check out this one: victorian cuff .

Have fun creating! Can't wait to see them!

Josiah the Inquisitive

2011-05-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

What do all of these items have in common?

I've taken them all out of Josiah's mouth!

Moral of the story: no matter how much you babyproof your house, there is always the great wide world that is not babyproof friendly. I've learned to be vigilant and pre-emptive to dangers, but there's always more. The finger sweep has become my best friend and most used baby tool. But mostly, I've learned to relax a little about Josiah eating bugs. At least they're organic.

Little Girl 3rd Birthday Presents.

2011-05-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

What do you get a 3 year old girl for her birthday? Here are a few of Selah's favorite birthday gifts. Our family likes to get a few practical and fun things and at least one experience as presents. The bubble machine and playdough have already offered HOURS of play. I can't wait for mommy-and-me swim classes this summer. And let's just say I'm more than a little jealous of her pink glitter Toms! I've said it before: cute, comfy, and philanthropic. What more do you want from a shoe?

Life Is Good Today, Life is Good Today...

2011-05-06T14:48:00.000-07:00

This morning the Zach Brown Band has been singing in my head, "Toes in the water, "toes" in the sand, not a worry in the world, cold beer in my hand, life is good today, life is good today!"

The bougainvillea on this little whitewashed beach house makes me happy.

We met some friends down at Mission Beach today; a grubby but wonderful place. Us mamas talked and laughed and lived vicarious dream-land lives by ogling the backyard beach patios along the boardwalk. The toddlers ran barefoot in the sand and grass and learned the importance of not flinging shovels of sand into the wind and staying on the correct side of that yellow line along the boardwalk.

The babies ate rice cakes covered in sand and pretzels covered in sand and a few more straight-up handfuls of sand for good measure.

Baby Kate and Baby Josiah with Baby Hands.

Stare challenging his sand-soaked pretzel stick.

Life is good on a Friday morning in May at Mission Bay.

A single file line of a hundred pelicans kept flying up and down the coast line single file with impressive synchronization. There was even a pod of dolphins playing in the wave break close to shore for us to ooh and aah over.

A little bit of quality time with friends. A little bit of sunshine soaking into my skin and making my face warm with freckles. A little bit of sand on chubby baby toes. These are the little bursts of happy to my everydayness.

Circus Baby

2011-05-04T22:09:00.000-07:00

We aren't too into generalizations around here, but the phrase "All BOY!" is finding it's way out of my mouth a lot lately. Josiah spent about two weeks crawling then started walking at nine months. Walking is old news and he's in a rush to find more adventurous mobility. Wobbly walks have been traded in for full-on running, dancing, scaling furniture, and dangling from tables mid air by the shear strength of his baby biceps.

Granted, we're pretty relaxed about letting our kiddos roam our house. They're free range. But I don't expect to find this...

Standing ON his Baby Einstein Jumper

or this...

Racing back and forth across the couch. Yes, he stacks pillows to get a boost up.

or this...

Joining sister on her bed to play.

or this...

Standing up on the seat of his trike.

I think next week we'll enter him into the circus!

Back to the Land of the Technologically Active!

2011-05-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

Living without a computer feels a little what I would imagine walking without a big toe feels like; awkward and unbalanced.

Thanks to a husband who itemizes our tax return in such detail that we owe $0, thanks to a generous tax return, and thanks to Apple's teacher discounts we now have a beautiful snazzy new computer!

So, let's get the highlights from the past few weeks!

1. Pityriasis Rosea - AKA a GNARLY skin infection most common in the geriatric world that our baby boy contracted. Resulting in rushed trips to urgent care, a leprous looking rash, and a swollen face. Besides being a little itchy Josiah wasn't fazed at ALL and with a little benadryl and steroids he morphed back into that beautiful face we know.

2. The Bike Accident - Nate got hit by a car riding his bike to work two week ago. The car was turning left out of a cross street without looking and Nate couldn't brake in time to miss the car. He hit the front headlight of the SUV and did a Hollywood roll across the hood and onto the ground, back onto his feet like a stunt man. He wasn't really hurt at all, MIRACULOUSLY! The cops came, gave him a ride home, he changed clothes, hopped in the car, and made it to work on time. Meanwhile the wife (me) was sleeping and didn't know anything about it until later that day....let's just say if any more near death experiences happen I will be notified immediately.

3. Pacifiers Are Not Forever - Selah Grace went cold turkey yesterday off her pacifiers! Yesterday was her 3rd birthday along with Josiah's 1st (yes, they share a birthday). She picked out a special pink box to put her pacis in and today we "mailed" them to Baby Raelyn Denver, who was born this weekend. (So really we had a goodbye paci ceremony and put the little box in the mail together and I'm just going to retrieve it tonight, but she thinks it's happening!)

4. Birthdays! - Our kiddos share a May 1st birthday and we threw them their first joint birthday party! It had a POP theme. Yes, I know this is a baby shower theme but it was fun as a birthday theme too. We played in the backyard, enjoyed a little too much sun and way too much sugar and laughed together as we watched our kiddos run and giggle with excitement!

Josiah's Dedication

2011-04-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday we took the stage at Flood, our home church, and asked our church community to act as family and help us raise our little man Josiah.

Nate, Josiah-man-of-the-hour, Selah Grace in all her disheveled toddler cuteness, and me.

The verse we chose for Josiah is Ephesians 2:10 - "For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life."


Josiah being prayed for by Pastor Matt.

This was and is our prayer for Josiah:

Jesus, thank you for our little man, Josiah. Thank you for his vitality and his personality! We know each day with our healthy son is nothing short of a miracle and a gift! We thank you for this and we ask that he will continue to grow and play, enjoying his boyhood with a healthy heart. What a joyful baby! Thank you for his constant smiles and playful, into-everything-curiosity. Thank you for the giggles and camaraderie that already exists between Josiah and his sister. We pray they will be close friends in life. Please help us raise a son full of integrity, who understands your love for him, who opens doors for women, and who dares to live in the fullness of who you have created him to be. Amen.

Pop Art Meets Victorian

2011-03-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

This weekend we celebrated with my friend Tracy on the impending arrival of her second baby girl! The baby shower is a whole separate post for later, but for now let's talk about diying some pretty rad wall art. I combined two popular ideas floating around the crafting blog world right now of graphic prints and silhouettes, layering them into some graphic awesomeness with a personal touch.

The coral one is of Tracy round with this pregnancy. The pink one is of their family now. And the green one is with the promise of having baby girl's initials or profile on it once she makes her debut.

This project was shockingly simple, it just takes a little time. Here's how I did it. I'm sure there are other ways to go about it, but this made sense to me. Sorry for the lack of step-by-step pictures, the camera battery was dead the night I made these.

Materials Needed:
Canvas
Paint
Paintbrush
Stencil - I used this quatrefoil stencil. But you could do any assortment of graphic design/stencil in the background!
Picture of Subject
Scanner/Printer
Black Sharpie
Ribbon (Optional)

Step 1: Print and cut out stencil. (For multiple paintings, I scanned the stencil and reduced and enlarged the size before printing to end up with different sizes of stencils.)

Step 2: Use stencil to trace quatrefoil design onto canvas with a light pencil. (I actually even used a gummy eraser and erased the pencil immediately after I traced it for the pink and green paintings. The lines were still visible to the eye, but weren't as visible through the paint that way. This must be a technique I have reserved from middle school when I would secretly put make-up on in the mornings before school and then wash it off. The essence was vaguely left, but wasn't technically there so I couldn't get in trouble...sorry for being sneaky mom! )

Step 3: Paint in stencil. Let dry.

Step 4: Reduce or enlarge photo on computer as needed to fit canvas proportion. We don't have a fancy photo shop program so I just pasted the pictures in Word and fiddled with size.

Step 5: Print picture and cut out around figures. (No need to print for detail. Just a fast draft, gray tones will do since you're just using it to get an outline.)

Step 6: Use picture cut-out as stencil and trace with pencil on painted quatrefoil canvas.

Step 7: Color inside traced figures with a "wet" black Sharpie. (By "wet" I mean one with lots of ink.)

Step 8: (Optional Ribbon) If you notice the pink canvas has a gray ribbon under the silhouette of Tracy's family. That's because the picture I had to use cut them off at their trunks and putting them flush at the bottom of the canvas was not in a happy rule of third's place for the eye. So, instead of just having them floating in space, I threw a little bit of ribbon under them to anchor them into the canvas by dabbing a little hot glue on the back of the canvas.

Now you have yourself a memory to treasure with style! Easy project, low-skill, medium time, big pay-off. The litmus test of crafting projects is if I actually want to keep it once I'm finished instead of chucking the product and re-chiming how creating is mostly "about the process". Yes, but it's nice to make something awesome every once in a while too! I think I'm going to make some of my family and kiddos for our home!

Flood's New Early Childhood Coordinator!

2011-03-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

It's official. I am Flood Church's newest employee! My job title is the early childhood coordinator for Flood Kids 0-5yrs and I'll be working under the direction of the Kids Pastor.

Our Church Website/ My New Employer

I love when all the circumstances come together in such a seamless, easy way that it is impossible to ignore the God design in it all. Nate and I decided that I should get a part time job on a Sunday last month. The following Sunday I was approached about this one. All of the things in the job description were specifically the areas I am already involved in at our church. All of the responsibilities are things I already have experience in through my past while working at USD during college and the Academy in Malawi. The hours are flexible so that won't be an additional hardship on our family schedule and best of all it is a job that I want to do. Really, this is the best possible scenario all around. One application, one interview, and one very long week later I heard back that the job is mine! I am so excited for this!

So, why go from SAHM to getting a job?

Don't get me wrong, the stay at home mom gig is pretty awesome! However:

1. Our expenses have gone up in the past year and we could use the money. It would be nice to be able to save more and to get to a point where it feels like we control our finances and not the other way around.

2. I like working. (GASP!) Mostly I like working in a job that I know my gifts are being fully used to the benefit of others. Being a stay at home mom is an honor and I value it. I love being here to raise our kiddos, especially in these early years. But I just feel like a part of me has been lying dormant the past few years and I'm ready to tap into this again and to use all of my heart, mind, soul. Working for the church still allows me to be a SAHM and to fulfill this desire.

When things work out so easily sometimes it's not too good to be true, but just too good to not be God. Here's to a new adventure in our family!

The Hug-N-Roll

2011-03-01T18:26:00.000-08:00

Happy ten months to our little man! In the past month Josiah has accomplished: growing two teeth, expanding his solid food diet, walking, waving, signing daddy, answering questions with smiles and laughter, full-body bouncing to music, and making everyone he meets fall in love with him. Chalk it up to his flirty smile and always-happy personality.

They say to start the way you want to end up. We definitely don't want Josiah to end up sleeping in our bed for the next five years, but we think it might happen. This is where he likes to be the best. Right on our foam mattress, wedged in between the body pillow and mama. I sub in the pillow for me once I need to get up. Thank you to that old Friend's episode for teaching me the "Hug-N-Roll"!

"Normal baby. Treat as such." These are the words Josiah's cardiologist keeps telling us. And we do...except for this sleeping in our bed thing. I'm shocked that this is happening myself, but we're just so thankful for Josiah's vitality. After so much uncertainty about his heart, I'm just so thankful to have a warm, healthy little bundle of baby breath that I don't care that his comfy spot is in our bed in between my pillows!

We love you Josiah! Happy 10 Months!

Toddler Feeding Tricks

2011-02-22T14:44:00.000-08:00

My toddler is crazy smart. I know all of us moms think that. But really...in Selah's case, it's true. So even though I'm 25 years older than her, whenever I can outsmart her I feel a keen sense of ~~victory~~ accomplishment.

Selah Grace munchin' on some bread sporting Josiah's hat. She's got a beanie fetish these days.

What's one of the hardest things to get toddlers to do? Eat. At least, eat the food you want them to eat. (AKA, not so many bowls of mac-n-cheese and arrowroot cookies.) I realized I was getting cranky repeatedly saying, "Eat your peas. It's not a choice." Also crank-inducing was making 3 dinners: one for me and hubs, one for toddler, one for baby. Now, we have one dinner and we set the timer for 30 minutes. The rule is that Selah Grace eats that or nothing. When the timer goes off, dinner is done. And babes Josiah usually gets some part of our meal thrown in the baby food blender real fast. It's nice to be sane again.

Here's our most successful toddler eating tricks:
1. My Turn/ Your Turn. - Mama takes a bite of greenbean saying, "My turn!" then points to toddler saying, "You're turn!" She loves it and usually it works great.
2. Timer - It sounds something like this: I bet you can't eat (fill-in-the-blank-with-undesired-food-here) before I count to 6! 1-2-3....! (Fun and upbeat sounding. Not the 1-2-3 Mommy count)
3. Personal Dinner Songs - We've reworded some personal favorite cartoon theme songs and turned them into dinner songs. Instead of Bob the Builder we sing, "Selah Grace! Can she try it? Selah Grace! Yes she can!" That one's really done wonders for us.
4. Sharing Daddy's - If it's on Daddy's plate, then it is most definitely better. So sometimes we let her trade the veggies on her plate for the veggies on Daddy's plate and she thinks she has won a sweet deal!
5. Special Plate - Selah likes to choose which bowl or plate she uses during dinner. Sometimes this is an ice cube tray and her dinner looks like a little edible mancala game. We stole this straight out of the Dr. Sears book and we love it. Also great for holding various dipping sauce options.
6. Dippin' Sauce - I think toddlers across the board love dunking food in dipping sauce. Lately the pear/gorgonzola salad dressing from T. J.'s has been a favorite around our table.
6. Bribery - When all else fails we resort to good old fashioned bribery. Finish 2 bites of ______ and you will earn your arrowroot cookie.

I hope our family tricks can help your toddler table time. If you have any for us, please share!

A Vortex of Energy...

2011-02-20T17:43:00.000-08:00

...lately I've been having one: a vortex of energy that is. Not the kind that makes me feel compelled to deep clean the tub or wash the mountain of plastic toddlerware in the sink. Let's not get crazy.
This is the swirling anticipation that I get inside my soul just before something new, something big comes. Call it intuition. Call it Holy Spirit. Something is about to happen...

I recognize this feeling. It has overtaken me prior to every big shift in my life. I am equal parts excited and curious. I don't know what this is prelude to. I have some guesses and some hopes but mostly I'm relieved to shake things up a bit in my boggle-board of life. (Unlike the masses, I enjoy change.)

So here's to bringing on the winds and letting this vortex of energy do some needed mixing around.

Just Waiting

2011-02-12T13:47:00.000-08:00

We apologize for the long silence from us. We WILL blog again and in abundance soon. We have a household of colds and croup and one VERY old, cranky powerbook we have nicknamed "Grandpa Mac" who is refusing to let us upload new home videos or pictures. Personally, I think he's still holding a grudge from Selah Grace taking off all his keys on the top row of his keyboard.

Thanks for your patience with us as we humidify baby rooms and try to conquer the "boogy sucker" instead of being here sharing our lives and thoughts.

And if you want to pray that our tax refund this year is the exact amount of a new computer, that would be appreciated too!

It won't be too long we hope!

A Confession to Introverts

2011-01-21T14:26:00.000-08:00

Dear introverts in my life,
       I know I married one of you, but I don't understand you yet. I'm realizing all the rules to the game I've been charting and tracking all these years don't apply here with you. At times this leaves me feeling confused and uncomfortable in my skin, unsure of my next move, wondering if one more email or phone call or outing is smothering you with a little too-much-love and too-often-enthusiasm. It's a little risky over here wondering if you have the space to make me your friend. Because of course, I want you to be mine. When you're tired, you need to keep the world at bay. When I'm spent, I need to go to the bay along with you...and as many people as I can possibly talk into coming.
       I know you're a little frustrated with me, the extrovert, because even though there is no filter to keep me from saying what I really think, just when can you tell when I'm saying what I mean? When I've finally landed on my point? If I've stopped talking, then whatever was said last, this is my truth and my platform (for now anyway, unless I was distracted by something shiny mid-sentence). Do you have more to say after this, or are you waiting for me to ask intelligent, articulate questions to draw out the rest, to show you that I'm still interested? I don't have any intelligent, articulate questions. Those are for people who sleep. When I interrupt you, this doesn't mean that I don't care about hearing what you have to say. It means that the synapses in my brain are firing off connections that I deeply want to share with you for the sake of relational bonding and that I need to share with you before I orbit off into space, so my brain can be emptied and I can refocus on what you are telling me.
       I know we inadvertently hurt each others' feelings sometimes, but that is friendship no matter which way you color it and I am oh-so-thankful for yours. Please hang in there with me as I talk over you and most likely embarrass you in public in the very near future. And just so you know, I think you're pretty swell and don't get all the praise you deserve in our culture that recognizes and rewards the extroverts. I'll try to put this big mouth to good use and brag on you more often.

All my love,
Jenny

Potty Training...For Real This Time

2011-01-07T20:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Subway,
We apologize for that piddle puddle we left in your highchair. But we had just used the last babywipe. You should maybe rethink that non self-serve napkin policy.

If shopping with small children wasn't like a big game of hot potato before, it sure is now that the diapers have come off! Yes, without much preamble or preparation, we bought some 2T panties and said that was that. I took Selah Grace to the aisle full of toddler underwear and let her choose her favorite pack. After much oohing and aaahing over cartoon characters, a two minute stretch of clutching Buzz Lightyear ones (no gender constraints here), she VERY EXCITEDLY picked out her pack of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse undies. Her new chant is, "No more diapers! Yes panties!"

We've had a few days of loading up the washer with every pair of pants she owns. But I think we've finally discovered a reward that motivates her. Chocolate. I asked her what she would like more than anything as a reward from going on the potty chair five times and her answer was a chocolate drink! Together we made a sticker chart to put over her potty chair. She gets one sticker for her sticker chart with each use of the potty. One sticker to put on her shirt and one chocolate chip to eat immediately. After five stickers on the chart she earns herself a cup of hot chocolate. Hopefully the new chocolatey incentives will motivate her to give up the diapers. She's known how to use the potty for a while now, but just isn't interested in making the switch. No more dawdling. It's time to pay the cloth diapers forward to baby brother who has grown out of his mini cloths.

The potty in public is still kind of tricky. Public restrooms with big toilets scare her. Good instincts. They scare most of the rest of us too. Maybe we'll put a potty chair in the back of the Pilot and let her go there in the middle of shopping trips, but that leads us into a whole new conundrum...what to do if she DOES go? Bushes? Doggie bag it? The options seems slightly less than sanitary or legal for that matter.

We're trying to keep it fun and allow Selah to be a part of the process as much as possible, in what we hope is giving her buy-in to the whole situation. She chose the panties, the reward stickers, the reward chocolate.

Wish us luck! And you might want to start Lysol wiping your shopping cart if you don't already do so. We just may have been there before you with an, "oh well, next time we'll make it to the potty chair," kind of trip.

A Musical Nod

2011-01-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

At 11pm last night as we rang in the New Year early so we could go to bed, Nate and I said goodbye to 2010 by singing a little pop-rock. We're a musical little family; Nate in that orderly left brain sort of way uses music as an expression of logic and mathematics and scale and me in that beautifully chaotic right brain sort of way that uses music as an expression of the intangible intuitive.

As stated in the previous post, we did the best we could with 2010, but in the words of Cee-Lo, "we're like forget you".

2011, we're ready for a Whole New World.

Wins and Losses: A Year in Review

2010-12-31T21:30:00.000-08:00

2010. It came. It happened. It went. I'm not sure what I was doing because it seems to have begun and ended in the time it takes to inhale. Here and gone in a breath. A small one.

I drew a t-chart to sort the year's main events into either a "win" or a "loss" category, but soon abandoned that process. Each "win" was won with a fair share of sacrifice and each "loss" has a continued, untold story. Our year can't be hashed out, dichotomized neatly into my pro/con lists. It's a little more messy than a t-chart will allow.

This year; I jumped into a too-deep-project at church that I fully believed in, we were continually confronted with scary news about our unborn son's heart, we had a baby (a living, well, wonderful baby), said goodbye to Pa (Nate's grandpa), bought a car, couldn't find summer employment, made new friends, found mold growing in the house, replaced studs, drywall, and carpet to eradicate mold, began a bathroom remodel, put the remodel on hold, hosted a marrieds community group, went to Disneyland twice, watched Nate's parents separate, Nate finished his Masters program at USD, Selah Grace learned to talk really well,we celebrated five years of marriage, Nate got chemical burns on his fingers, I got mono, and no one slept more than a few hours at a time.

In a one word summary, I would call our 2010 tiring. Nate would call it turbulent because it was full of so many ups and downs.

To be completely honesty, I've spent the last month or so just waiting for this year to be over. I keep telling myself that next year I will be more rested. That next year I will be able to go to the grocery without buying a superfluous tin of Pillsbury orange rolls, but forgetting staples like bread and salsa. Next year I will remember to floss daily and have fashionable hair. Next year I will be a kind and respectful wife. Next year I will finally keep all the balls in the air...Even though I know this is a tragic lie, for the past few weeks I've been putting off milk runs and clenching my teeth in the hopes that the calendar will liberate me from this funk I've been in since mono kicked my heels and my pride out from under me.

We don't have any resolutions this year. Just a general desire to be restored in every sense of the word. To regain health and not feel so hopelessly over-tired. To allow gratitude to overshadow all the other stuff.

So goodbye 2010. Thank you for the beautiful blessing of our son. But you were a hard year to us, 2010, and we are ready to be done with you and are thankful that 2011 is no longer on the far horizon, but has stepped forward to meet us in the present.

Eye Contact

2010-12-29T14:19:00.000-08:00

Last night was unexpected. I had an hour and a half of time. Just myself. No agenda. No kids. I decided to take myself on a mini-date while I waited for Nate's soccer practice to end. Choosing to avoid the griminess of downtown where we were, I found myself driving over the bridge to that magical little island, Coronado, and followed my feet into Starbucks. A cinnamon-sprinkled caramel macchiato and a good book sounded scrumptious in every way. But it didn't happen.

I make eye contact with people in public. I say hello to checkers and baristas and exchange the usual niceties, but always try to make eye contact while doing so. A small action to affirm that person's dignity. I placed my order then zoned in on the leather chair that was going to coddle me for the next hour of my "me time". But I made eye contact.

Innocent enough at first. A lady asking me if I lived here, talking about how she's from Chicago. When she commented that Coronado seemed like a reasonably, financially accessible place to live the red flag went up. Two minutes more it was confirmed that she was completely off her rocker, possibly on drugs, but most definitely off meds. At first glance she didn't look homeless, but upon further review there it was: a rolling suitcase of all her possessions and dirty fingernails. She had years of hurt and hardness beating her metaphorically and physically.

It was uncomfy sitting there. Part of me wanted to hear how she went from being a healthy, intelligent woman with a job and a home and a car and a family to this homeless, crazy, on-drugs, off-meds person she is today. And the other part of me just wanted to snuggle further into my chair and read my Nook. So I sat there and listened and found myself sitting there nodding with a dumbfounded expression on my face and nothing to say, looking frantically across the table for the guy to get me out of this, jingling my keys in my hand, the universally understood social gesture of needing to leave. But I had made eye contact...

I did eventually make it to the car 45 minutes and a few rambles later. As I drove in search of a new dry, warm place to read I wondered what exactly a homeless woman was doing in a Starbucks in Coronado of all places. The reason, I decided, wasn't all that different from why I was there. To escape the griminess of downtown, to sit in a cozy chair in a warm place, to find a little beauty in the evening, and to continue a story.

A Different Kind of Gift

2010-12-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

Four times in two days. That's my Target tally. Seriously. You shouldn't find yourself at Target for a fourth time in just two days anytime of the year, but most definitely not the week of Christmas. So even though I am certain to wake up realizing I forgot to get that one last thing, I am done. Instead I am trying something new this year. Giving a gift to someone that is really for someone else.

Instead of scurrying around a multi-level mall with a toddler and 7 month old in tow, feeling frantic and surrounded by frantic others who could use an extra swig from the cup of Christmas cheer, I am lounging on the couch. Regaining my clarity, sanity, and yuletide spirit by listening to the ever-so-Christmassy Coldplay and "shopping" online. But this isn't your typical Cyber Monday shopping. This is for gifts that give life and hope for others. Because really, there's nothing more Christmassy than Life and Hope!

Watch out. You just may get a goat from us this year!

charitywater.org

donate.worldvision.org

"I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind." - Proverbs 8:30, 31

PER-SO-NAL-UH-TEEEEE

2010-12-20T13:11:00.000-08:00

And here is my favorite succession of pics from our family photo shoot. I love how they so vividly capture our daughter's fun two-year-old personality. It was later in the day and by this point she was getting a little crazy, loopy!

Family Photo Shoot

2010-12-17T23:52:00.000-08:00

Nate gave me the greatest Christmas present early - a family photo shoot. At a gorgeous place. With a super-talented photographer. Selah Grace definitely wins photo shoot MVP! (We did bribe her with a Chick-Fil-A ice cream cone, but mainly she's just an awesome two year old!)

Our photographer was friend, Katie Gardner. You can check her out here: katiegardnerphoto.com
And don't worry moms, you will get copies. We promise.

What did we learn from this?
1. Spending a wad of green on family pictures is 100% worth it! (To me at least. Nate probably has a different story.)
2. Take the shoot somewhere meaningful. The University of San Diego is where Nate and I met, became adults, fell in love, etc. and just happens to be gorgeous with a plethora of artsy areas that make for good photos. It's so fun to know the importance of the photo backdrop.
3. It's good to bribe small children to cooperate with special treats. But those are usually a mile and an hour away. Mini M&M rewards for obedience. That's even more helpful. Like puppy, like toddler.
4. Wear clothes you feel good in. I borrowed a few things for me and Selah to wear so we could feel cute and be weather-appropriate, because of course I was in the timeless feminine predicament of nothing (new) to wear. Nate wore his work clothes because he was thoughtfully dressing up, knowing how special these family portraits were for me. The negative of that is he looks alien to both of us. He is not a button-up-shirt type of guy. Next time we know that he should be in his Calle shorts and Sanuks.
5. Don't get your hair cut (a drastically different length) the day of the shoot. Girls, we all know this. I did anyway. That never ends well. So although I didn't love my hair I tried to remember the wise saying from one of the Hepburn girls about how a smile is the most beautiful thing a woman can put on.

A Friend Like Samwise

2010-12-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

Although we've known each other for ten years, I love learning new things about my husband. This past week during our marrieds community group we were doing a simple icebreaker; if you could be any character from a movie, who would you pick? Nate's choice told a lot about his character. Out of all the glorified heroes and James Bonds found in Hollywood theater, Nate chose Samwise. Samwise Gamgee. Frodo's galumpy looking side-kick. Why? Because he is a loyal friend. A steady companion who will not turn back on a promise to help in the face of unknown danger and adversity. Samwise is there through it all to encourage, speak reason, and sometimes even physically carry his bestie, Frodo, along his journey. Even when the odds are terrifying. Even when he doesn't understand what's going on with his friend. Who doesn't want a friend like Samwise beside them? I'm thankful for mine.

Utility Knife: A Tool for Every Need

2010-12-01T15:09:00.000-08:00

"You're the utility knife."

We all know not to compare. But...when you're surrounded by so many seemingly put together people it's hard not to. Through my eyes most of our friends have a clear understanding of what their very specific ministry is.

By contrast, I'm a dabbler. [dabbler: amateur, dilettante, layman, layperson; trifler, nonprofessional, nonspecialist] There is no one main target of ministry bursting forth from within me like a Care Bear stare beam of light illuminating what it is about to transform. I am involved in a number of things because I value them all and they all interconnect so strongly (marriage, motherhood, children) that I can't sever the lines of ministry between them.

Everyone else seems so sure about their very specific thing. Shouldn't I? But I don't.

It's good to have a straight-shooter husband. I verbalized my doubts to Nate and he reminded me that my desire and ability to jump into various arenas is not just okay, but needed. "You're the utility knife," he said. "People ask you to do lots of different things, because you get them done and can do them well."

It's good to be reminded that in the kitchen drawer of life there are tools for very specific purposes like the wine opener or the cheese grater, and then there is the utility knife that does a little bit of everything. I'm okay with that.

The Many Uses of Kotex

2010-11-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

Selah, daughter after my own heart, enjoys a good interior design project. There's been a lot of parties the past few months between baby showers and birthdays and celebrating life with friends. Our home has been a joyous, colorful explosion of Martha Stewart pom-poms and flourishes of ribbon. Selah Grace has caught the decorating bug and embellishes our home with her unique touch.

Medium of choice? Kotex. Giant kotex. Pangea-sized, postpartum kotex. We find them lining the hallway like an absorbent, padded chair-rail and slapped onto bedroom doors.

Yes, it is strange. But Nate and I appreciate the blast of humor finding Selah's adhesive decorations around the house.

I prayed that God would bring a little laughter into our home right now while I'm sick and Nate's so busy. In response I got Kotex art from my two year old. Although it's weird, I think we'll leave them up for a while to remind ourselves to appreciate the joyful worldview of children and to laugh every once in a while.

Waving the White Flag

2010-11-12T18:55:00.000-08:00

I battled. But it is time to surrender. I wave the white flag to the enemy I've been trying to keep at bay. I dug in obstinately. But now I'm seeing what peace is to be made in post-war negotiations.

My battle? Breastfeeding. Or breastfeeding a baby who prefers to eat from a bottle. Or breastfeeding a baby while wracked with mono. The logistics of pumping and bottle feeding were manageable. Only my pride wounded. Aren't babies supposed to want to breastfeed all day? Excessive water. Fenugreek. Strict pumping schedule. Fighting it.

The end of the war? My mono. It has completely done my body in. It takes food and fluids to support a healthy body and a healthy body to support a healthy breastmilk system. No input. No output. The science is that simple.

Here I am with the flag raised and a perplexed expression in the formula aisle.

A moment of silence for the loss of something I value that I can no longer give my son. Now facing forward and moving on.

Good reminder. Fill up before you give out. Otherwise...there's nothing left.

Modern Medicine

2010-11-07T20:26:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful for modern medicine. And I'm so thankful for the people who use their God-given intelligence and intuition to use medicinal science. I'm sure that two hundred years ago I would be laying in bed with leaches on my body and an ornate nickel bowl under my wrist to get out the bad blood. Instead I'm being pumped full of fluids and pain relievers. Yes, modern medicine is a good thing.

There is one thing I respond to most at the doctor's office. Kindness. It sounds so simple, but can easily get overlooked in the name of efficiency. I have greatly appreciated the kindness of the nursing staff and doctors I've seen over the past week.

I have burst into tears instead of answers. I have thrust yellow legal pads under their noses when I couldn't talk. I have been a conundrum of non-rule-following symptoms. I have truly been all over the place physically and emotionally with them. But when they are kind it makes me feel like my illness is legitimate. Like it is fair for me to feel bad. Like somebody is going to move mountains until I am well.

A little kindness goes a long way.

In Sickness and For Worse

2010-11-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

In sickness and for worse. That's where it feels like we are right now.

The good news is that I do not have chronic fatigue syndrome. Outlandish to even consider, you say? After two weeks of being continually wrecked and racked with TIRED, I was starting to consider the possibility. But it was only a quiet, distant whisper. I never said it out loud, because as we all know, verbalizing something makes it too real. Verbalizing something requires an active breath. Like the lips of God blowing into Adam's lungs; thoughts exhaled as words are given life and power.

The bad news is that I do have mono. Yeah, the middle school kissing disease. I have it. Exhaustion hit me one day. Two days later I was out with a horrible fever and I assumed I had some type of flu or virus. After a week of still feeling bad and waking up with a sore throat I was hopeful that I had strep. Yes, there is absurdity in hoping for strep throat. But there is also sanity. Strep is caused by bacteria and goes away with a few pops of antibiotics. Strep has an end.

Strep test. Negative. I mentioned my theory above and received a discourse on the dangers of taking antibiotics too often and how it isn't good for your body. Then the doctor told me I was just tired. Yes, doctor. I know I'm tired. I did not pay you to tell me that. There is something wrong with my body. I'm here for you to figure out what is wrong with me so I can start feeling better. (These were my thoughts.) At this point he launched into the benefits of 8 hrs uninterrupted sleep. And it was at about this point later that I sat staring at the arc of his cheekbones sobbing. Something is wrong, my body is telling me so. This man is telling me to do the one thing I physically can't do as a mom of a non-sleeping baby.
I dried up and left.

The right side and the left side of your throat should not touch the little dangly thingy in your mouth. But mine did so come Monday morning I found myself at my regular physician's office. After just a few seconds of looking at me and a few minutes of talking she called it. Mono. I did a follow up lab test with my blood to confirm.

Thank you, my regular doctor for: easily finding the correct diagnosis, saying that mono comes with "profound fatigue" (not the "you're just tired" business), taking away some of the guilt I've been feeling the past week about having a body too wrecked to produce enough breast milk for Josiah, telling me it is safe to take pain meds for my headaches, and that it is okay to not clean the house right now.

We're 2 weeks in. Another projected 4-6 weeks to go. I'm thankful to know this is going to be a while. I'm impatient so it's good to wake up knowing I'm going to be a distant shadow of my regular self instead of waking up frustrated. It's good for Nate to have these expectations too. In his words, I'm a "cranky,whiny, and needy" sick person. Yeah, I know.

In sickness and for worse. In mono and for cranky, whiny, needy.

Fall Visitors

2010-11-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

My mom and stepdad, Lloyd, braved the long car ride from Oklahoma City to San Diego a few weeks ago. After a stop in New Mexico to visit friends and a stop at the Grand Canyon to be wowed by it's grandness, they arrived in our little corner of San Diego.

We enjoyed visiting with them. Selah Grace reveled in the delights of having a wider audience to share about her things and was also pleased to enfold them into her bedtime routines.

The kiddos at the pumpkin patch together.

Grandy and Selah making clay cookies at the Children's Museum.

Grandpa Lloyd and Selah drumming out beats on the elephant drums.

Some big kids playing on the big wheels contraptions!

Mmmm...grilled fish tacos in Point Loma!

Haste Makes Waste

2010-10-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been examples #1 through 347 why this phrase is true. Frantic energy accomplishes nothing other than creating more situations to problem solve. My feeling a sense of urgency to give my kids an immediate response, to finally be on time somewhere, to maximize time and proceed with speed has only produced destruction this week. In an effort to make haste I made waste happen.

I:
...backed out of the garage...(before the garage door was fully open)
...dropped the coffee pot on the tile floor, shattering it to smitherings.
...forgot to pack a bottle nipple for Josiah's bottle, made a mad dash to store while out in order to get one, bought one, then found out after the store that it was the WRONG thing!
... forgot the grocery list and came home with kind of what we needed for the week

This morning a lady at the library commented on how calm I was while at story time with a baby strapped to my body and a 2yr old running around my feet. HA! If only she knew.

I don't like this hurried and harried business. I'm going to go back to taking it slow, most likely being late, responding to others when I can, and giving up the guilt about it. Any other way, I'm just building obstacles for myself to climb over. It's time to slow down.

If you must be in a hurry, then let it be according to the old adage, and hasten slowly. ~Saint Vincent de Paul

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday. ~A.A. Milne

Josiah's 5 Months Old!

2010-10-01T20:46:00.001-07:00

Happy 5 Month Birthday Josiah!

It's hard to believe we're here already. With Selah's birth it felt like our lives hit the eye of the storm; everything became eerily calm and for a short time life was muffled. With Josiah it doesn't feel like there was a break from "real life". There's been no time-outs and I'm sure the next time I blink I'll be sitting at his first birthday party wondering how we got there so fast.

Here's some of the things we love about 5 month old Josiah:
He gives us little baby face massages. When we hold him, Josiah enjoys smearing and squishing his fingers all over our cheeks, chin, lips, and noses. In the mornings, he's content to play in his crib for a little while as long as he has access to his feet which are his favorite toy! This kid is a snuggler and doesn't like to be alone in a room. Lately he's gotten pretty good at getting around by rolling front to back, then back to front and pretty much somersalts the entire breadth of a room. But most of all we love receiving his great big smiles!

Wait! What's Happening?

2010-09-29T21:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder if I'll ever hit a parenting groove with the kids and get to ride that confidence wave for an impressive distance. Most likely not. It is some scientific law of parenting that as soon as you figure out the patterns and needs of your child, they change.

As Selah Grace is settling into being very TWO and Josiah is rapidly growing from newborn into new baby into baby, I'm constantly racing to catch up with the program and their needs. What do I do to figure it out?
1. I watch my kids. I chart things and look for patterns. I try to pinpoint a theme to what is happening so it can be anticipated and "cut off at the pass", if you will.
2. I read. Lots. When I don't know what's going on with one of them I spend their nap periods in the index of parenting books and blogs and try to find an answer. Even when there isn't an answer it is helpful just to know that you aren't the only parent to encounter this seemingly crazy thing. Support in solidarity.
3. I get anxious and uptight and then finally, slowly, I relax. I let it go. I enjoy my kids and their little needs and personalities and stop worrying so much about doing it the "right way". The benefit of reading so much is realizing there are so many schools of thought about parenting that there isn't one right way. There's just the right way for you and your family.

Favorite Baby Book:
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. I love her. It's a good marriage of the Babywise stuff that is too strict for me (trying to follow BW made me feel like a crazy person) and the Sears stuff that I find too wishy-washy. I like her practical suggestions for firmly organizing your baby's sleeping and eating in a way that patiently parents them through it. Chat strands on her website are also super helpful too, if only for the moral support of parenting.

Favorite Toddler Book:
Nurture by Nature. This is a book based on the Myers Briggs personality spectrum. I'm 99.999% sure my toddler is an ISFJ (introverted, sensing, feeling, judging). This book gives an insightful look into how personality types expresses itself in kiddos and practical ways to address specific needs for that type. Seriously revolutionized my day-to-day moments with Selah.

Favorite Overall Parenting Book:
Boundaries with Kids. They should pass this book out at the hospital. Such a freeing book for parents to back away from the crazy instead of engage in it.

I'm taking any suggestions for good parenting resources if you have something you just love!

What's to Show For It?

2010-09-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

There is much satisfaction from working hard and in return having something tangible and shiny to show for it. A trophy of sorts to affirm your efforts and say, "job well done".

When you're in the business of character and mind development of kids there is usually no way to measure the progress and worth of one day. As a SAHM and a math teacher, Nate and I had the following conversation this evening:

me the SAHM: I just feel frustrated that I'm managing them [our children] all day and working so hard at it and have nothing to show for it but a mess!

Nate the teacher: At least you get loved all day. I'm constantly managing ungrateful teenagers and all I have to show for it is three extra gray hairs.

Parenting. Teaching. These are jobs of endurance and hope. The daily battles for a long-term goal, progress benchmarks so gradual you can't see them in real-time.

When all we can see at the end of the day are dirty dishes and new gray hairs it's good to remember that proverbial drops in the ocean were made. We're in the long-term business of forming people.

All Little Girls Are Princesses

2010-09-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

Shirley Temple knew. All girls are princesses. It is an intrinsic knowledge in little girls, I am certain. The knowledge that they are beautiful. That they are lovely. That they have power and influence. That they bring joy just by being alive. That knowledge just gets lost sometimes as princesses grow older and years of the world whispering otherwise makes them question or forget. It's fun to watch a two year old who still, undeterred by age, believes that princesses are beautiful. That she is a princess. That she is beautiful.

Selah Grace teeters and clomps down the hallway in plastic pumps that sparkle and light up. Every once in a while she just has to put on her tutu and wave her magic wand gleefully squealing, "magic, MAGic, MAGIC!"

This morning she climbed into our bed to show me the Snow White band-aid on her forehead, exclaiming, "Look! Snow White! Don't worry Mama! Her prince will come!"

This afternoon she asked Nate to draw her a prince and a princess together. When he did she joyfully declared, "The princess and the prince! He right by her! Her fream COME FRUE!"

Yes, we'll be encouraging her not to sit around and wait for a prince in life. But, yes, we'll be encouraging her to remember that she IS a princess. She is beautiful and determined. Powerful and influential. Lovely and wise and brings joy to the world simply by being in it.

I hope that she will remember that ALL little girls (including her) are princesses for a long time to come.

The Power of Choice

2010-09-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

Choice. It's a powerful thing. Last year I attended a mommy session where a children's play therapist talked about positively disciplining children through offering them choices that are within the confines of your boundaries as a parent. I whole-heartedly believe this has saved our little family a slack-heap of stressful and frustrating situations.

Toddlers really want to be in control. (Something I absolutely understand!) But there is so little in the circumstances of their day they have any control over. If it were up to Selah Grace, Daddy would never have to leave for work and we'd spend every day building sandcastles at the beach. Now that you mention it, if Nate could have his way, that sounds about right....

Choices give a toddler a sense of autonomy and control of their world. I find myself continually spouting choice statements throughout the day to a little person who is still so new to life. Healthy life choices. Cause and Effect.

"Do you want to pick out an outfit for today or do you want mama to choose?"
"If you choose to scream over sleeping baby, then you choose a time out."
"It's okay to be upset, but hitting is not okay. You can choose to stomp your feet or choose to snuggle your pillow instead."

I think all of this empowering the toddler to be a respectful, helpful, empowered, self-thinker is working. Selah Grace has an absolute LOVELY disposition and is such a joy to parent. But lately I'm getting stuck on my choice statements. She's not even 2 and a half yet, but it feels like we're nearing 3, because most of the time she is too smart for her own britches and offers up a third way.

Example:
Mama - "It's time for lunch! Do you choose hotdog or a peanut butter and honey sandwich?"
Selah Grace - "Um...I choose CHIPS!"
Mama - "That's not one of the choices right now. You can have hotdog or a pb sandwich."
Selah Grace - "I want peabub bubbar and honeeeeeeey......umm....and CHIPS!"

So here we are. Just when I was getting the hang of choice statements and feeling good about them. Now we're navigating new territory together. Choice statements and compromises.

In the end she did have a pb sandwich...and some chips. Cassava chips. Because I'm the mama and even though in the end she has choices and compromises, I'm the one maintaining the boundaries.

But what to do when they choose to not choose your choices? What comes after the choices?

Sleep Nest

2010-09-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

Selah Grace is a champion sleeper. She has been for quite some time. Recently we took the crib face off her bed and traded it for the toddler rail. Honestly we were avoiding this transition because we thought it was going to be a lot of work parenting her through it and we're tired. But she's a champ and the switch didn't wrinkle a feather.

I heard Super Nanny say that children shouldn't have any toys to distract them in their beds so they know their bed is for sleeping, not playing. Oops. These days Selah has turned her bed into a nest. She sleeps on top of and underneath mounds of treasures she has deamed as needing to be in her bed. Being the routine-driven, meticulously observant child that she is, Selah instantly knows what is missing from her bed when Mama tries to tidy up and requests them back until conditions are perfect.

It looks terribly uncomfy to me. I have to pull the sheet taught each night before getting in bed otherwise the slightest wrinkle keeps me awake. But it is her sleep nest and she loves it. I added up the items and it is shocking there's any room left for her!

Sleep Nest:
-2 adult pillows (reclaimed by her from Nate's side of the bed)
-1 throw pillow
- clean cloth diaper
- Cabbage Patch doll, Hallie Miriam
- footy pajama
- stuffed puppy
- stuffed kitty
- 3 blankies
- pacifier
- corduroy jumper
- stickers earned for potty training

Sorry, Super Nanny. It works for her. Since she sleeps 12 hours a night and takes 2-3hour naps, this Mama isn't going to fight it!

So, how's the bathroom remodel going?

2010-09-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

It's not. Not at the moment anyway. It felt like the end was in sight. We finally found a vanity we both liked. Tile was all cut and in place. We agreed on a mirror and lived to tell the tale. As Nate was finishing grouting the shower tile he felt a weird sensation in his fingers. He was doing it with his hands, not the trowel because part of the shower is pebble tile and it is too bumpy. Weird sensation gave way to fierce burning and one urgent care visit later he was left with chemically burned fingertips and a great big grouting mess. Now we're waiting for his hands to heal so the work can resume. Bathroom remodel is not going according to plan, but isn't that the way remodeling goes? So maybe we're right on beat. We did learn one great thing from this unfortunate mess: urgent care co-pay is only $5! No ER trips for this family. That's the expensive co-pay. We're going to urgent care!

"I don't want to be the Wal-Mart mom!"

2010-09-09T15:20:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my dear friend for that tag line after she ran 9months big pregnant after her 2yr old who was tearing down the road squealing with delight.

And just by reading the title you already have an image in your mind. Harried. Disheveled. Frantic. Demanding from their toddler, "Why!" Swearing up and down the blue and gray aisles that if kids don't behave soon they'll never see the light of day again!

Yeah. You know them. We judge them then give ourselves a mental pat on the back. We're Target moms.

And then...
* demure daughter is standing on top of the table in the public library screaming because it is fun to hear her own voice echo so loudly.
* what began as a simple request to put a toy away has turned into the next Waco standoff.
* the toddler is leaping/dangling out of the grocery cart while the newborn is screaming, and your purse just vomited all over the floor.
(true stories)

All of a sudden we feel like we should be wearing Faded Glory cut-offs and a great big banana clip.

No matter how put-together we try to appear as a mom, we all have those moments. The kids drank an extra dose of crazy juice and we're at the end. You can feel all eyes on you and how you are going to handle (or not handle) this discipline situation. The crazy part of your brain is swearing up and down those red aisles that this is the last time you'll ever attempt an outing again and the sane part is snorting in disbelief that you mom, yes you, turned this situation into a beast. Did it really need to be?

What I want to know is this: when do you dig in and when do you give in?

The Happiest Place on Earth

2010-08-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Last week my family came out to visit: Dad, BK, Skye, Brandon, Sarah, and Issy. Together we attempted the crazy; Disneyland. One Day. Six Adults. Four Kids. Here's some pictures to tide you over until our old, tired computer rests up enough for imovie to work.

Self-portrait on the way out. Selah and Josiah both passed out in stroller by this point.

Sweet Thing got to dance with Princess Tiana (her favorite Disney princess) in New Orleans town!

Skye, Issy, and Josiah chilling in Storybook Land.

My dad with Josiah.

Dad, BK, and Skye about to get their innards loosened on the Matterhorn!

Brandon and Sarah entering It's A Small World. Last time she was on it, the ride broke down and got stuck for 30 minutes. We're all thankful that didn't happen again!

Disneyland post part B to come with video as soon as our computer cooperates.

Numbered Conversations

2010-08-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

Nate and I keep having the same conversations. Whether the byproduct of being best friends for almost ten years or the hazard of falling into the same cycles, I don't know. Last week we decided to just save each other's time and frustration by giving these common interactions numbers. The following conversations always start the same way, usually have the same middle, and rarely find a new ending.

# 1a: Where are my keys?
# 1b: Where are my sunglasses?
#6: Please change lanes out from behind this ridiculous driver.
# 12: Please pull the sheets taught.
#4: What do you want to do tonight? Play a game? Make out? Watch a movie?

We've been trying this out for a week now and it's working very well for us! This system is at least making otherwise irksome times lighthearted and buffers the annoyance of these very familiar, necessary, but banal conversations in a partnership.

A Good Pair of Shoes is a Relationship

2010-08-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

This is the shoe I thought I wanted.

In the end, this is the shoe that was always mine.

Shoes aren't just shoes. They're a relationship. Finding the right pair of shoes is like finding your partner. It takes an open mind and some dedication.

This week for my birthday Nate bought me (and a kid in Argentina) a pair of Toms. I thought I knew what I wanted. I had the style and model all picked out ahead of time. I did all the appropriate research and created a list of justifications for why this pair was the perfect pair for me. In an amalgamation of anxious/nervous/eager anticipation I entered the store ready to meet my new shoes. I slid into them and....the etherealness of the shoes I had built up in my head were not what were pinching my feet. This pair of Toms were cute, but canvas material and abrasive to my achilles. These clearly were not the ones. Okay. Next pair. Black with little stripes and an inspirational, chic phrase, "Love is the new black." After a test walk around the store the left foot was flapping like an awkward swim flipper. Since the establishment wasn't interested in selling me two different sizes (6.5 for my right and 6 for me left) to make a complete set, we moved on to another shoe. Many styles and many size trials later, we found each other. Shoe relationship bliss.

The best relationships are reciprocal. You don't just choose a shoe. A shoe chooses you.

Thedoro What? Thedoro Wot!

2010-08-14T15:26:00.000-07:00

We travelled to Africa this week, but it didn't take a grueling two day trek to get there. Ten minutes was all it took to park our car at 50th and El Cajon Blvd and pass through the steel screen door that acts as a space and time continuum into the southern hemisphere. Awash Ethiopian. What a lovely secret of the City Heights community!

Nate and I felt like we had teleported to Africa. The air in there is thick. "How does it smell like Africa?" I exclaimed to Nate as we settled into our chairs. It smelled like cooking flour and woven baskets and hot. Yes, there is a smell to hot. Even though our cokes came directly from the refrigerator, they were slightly warm and flat, gloriously tasting like every coke we had while living in Africa.

Service was indifferent to timeliness. Food was amazing. Our fingers smelled like thedoro wot many washes later. Nate and I felt like we had discovered a secret in this place and also had re-entered a secret in our marriage that only we can share and know. Our lives in Africa seem so far away some days. It's good to know that we can bring it to the forefront and sweat in the thickness of it with just a short drive and a long roll of injera.

Bars on the windows made us feel right at home.

Giraffe wood carving curio? Yes, please.

Mmmmm....looks awful. Tastes SO good!

Little girl. Big plate of food! Josiah's sleeping in his sling under the protection of the napkin from my spicy, spice.

Happy Birthday Josiah!

2010-07-31T20:08:00.000-07:00

Josiah: The Lord heals.
Benjamin: son of my right hand.
Leboffe

Our little man is 3 months old today! Full of hair. Full of life. And most recently, to the delight of his parents, full of giggles! Although big sis gets the most smiles out of him. To the thrill of my heart...he slept. through. the. night last night! Here's to hoping he makes that a habit! As to his "heart problem" the doctors scared us with, everything is good. Josiah is thriving. The human body is an amazing thing. As Josiah is growing, the narrow valves in his heart are growing into the normal range and his heart has figured out pumping blood efficiently and productively even with his extra plumbing. We love this boy!

Spontaneous Comments

2010-07-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

Quick and quiet wit abound in my husband. But, to his disappointment, I don't always laugh. Sometimes I just don't think things are funny. Sometimes I simply don't understand the joke. But usually I delay response while I try to figure out if he's serious or not, such is the subtlety of his humor. You would think that after 9 years of friendship, 8 of that being "relationship", and 5 marriage, I would know better. Nope.

Even so, I appreciate that Nate makes me laugh. Don't sit behind us in church. Nate will most likely make a hushed comment that makes me blurt an inappropriate chortle. Not just funny. Hilarious. Rib-splitting, pee-your-pants, painful funny.

I admire that he is witty in the moment and doesn't need hours to formulate "what I should have said" (my route).

Example A:
Nate: "Reading?"
Jenny: "Yeah, but I really want to write something. But I don't know what it is yet. I have this desire to create something spontaneous and new. I feel like there's something in me that I need to let out."
Nate: "Are you sure you don't just need to go to the bathroom?"

Yep. There's my husband. He's not the loud guy at the party, but he can roll in some enjoyable comments if you're quiet enough to listen....and smart enough to understand.

This Week of Summer

2010-07-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

This week of summer we haven't done too much. Nate is plugging away at the bathroom remodel. Selah is on a "nakey" campaign during this heat. Josiah is sleeping, smiling lots, and doing his tummy times like the great 2 month old that he is.

Coronado beach!

Finger Painting!

Josiah's a little frightened of his play mat. Selah likes laying there with him and playing together.

Bathroom Remodel

2010-07-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Nate is one of those amazingly talented people who can teach themselves to do anything: speak Spanish, play guitar, play piano, cook, and most recently, carpentry.

We have two bathrooms in our home. Short version of a long story: pipe backed up, overflowed into shower in bathroom we haven't been using, discovered ickyness by finding mold/mildew along baseboard of adjoining guest bedroom.

Nate is becoming a self-taught carpenter. This past week he deep cleaned any mold/mildew area, replacing dry wall, carpeting, carpet padding, baseboards, and paint as needed. He also demoed the bathroom. This is what it looks like now! Soon to be even more bare.

This project has reinforced what we've already known about ourselves; just how different we are. Mainly, how differently we make decisions. Nate wants time to think about it, then choose one and go with it. I want to see, feel, imagine all possibilities; always leaving the door open to new options that we might like better. He wonders aloud how I ever make decisions and move on in life. I wonder aloud how he doesn't have a positive or negative energy in response to shower tile colors and handle shapes.

We do life differently. We know it. We embrace it. And it usually isn't a problem...until home remodeling. We're trying to remember the phrase, "Not wrong, just different."

Not wrong! Just different!

What we do know for sure is that tomorrow we need to take a break from all this and just go enjoy being friends at the beach!

It's Independence Day!

2010-07-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Ours is a freedom to,
not a freedom from,
a freedom to service others,
to live according to Christ’s example to act, in commitment,
not merely a freedom from sin,
or a freedom from the law, the ancient law, the code of the people, God’s given grace, the freedom, the sacrifice of the Christ, is a freedom to do, to be, to act in this world, now
~Raymon Foss

Happy 4th of July! It was a sobering realization for me when we lived abroad that most of the rest of the world truly does not like the United States. For some valid reasons and also many false perceptions they hold their dislikes to us. But America, I like you! I like your humor. I like your loudness. I like your honesty and your infrastructure. I like your value of honor and the fact that I can wear shorts to church, no questions asked. Thanks for being such a great country to us America!

Today we celebrated our Fourth with our Flood family at church, our good friends Kellen and Becca Hiroto who are visiting from Malawi, and our family. BBQ hamburgers, strawberry pie, and a homemade ladder golf set!

Kellen, Becca, Selah Grace squirming off the couch, me, Nate and Josiah.

Selah played in the dirt while the boys played ladder golf.

Josiah slept through most of the 4th, but he did look darn cute in his denim overalls!

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

Daddy is the inexhaustible fun. Always there to go "walkin' 'round!" and when things get hard it's okay because "Daddy do it!"(Great phrase that gets Mama off the hook for many things: opening jars,taking out trash,changing diapers,fixing things..she knows who takes care of us!)

Selah LOVES playing with her Daddy. She adores him. Josiah does too in his own little newborn, snuggly, "thanks for cleaning my 4am poops, Pops" kind of way.

Parenting is such a large part of marriage together if you have kids. Nate and I decided it is a good thing that we picked eachother well because there was no preview for how the other person was going to do as a parent. We just had to rely on the integrity of character to trust how parenting was going to go.

Nate is the best husband. Best Dad. Couldn't do this without him. Wouldn't want to anyway.

We LOVE you Daddy! Happy Father's Day!

Five Years!

2010-06-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

What are you doing the rest of your life?
North and South and East and West of your life?
I have only one request of your life.
That you spend it all with me.

Nate and I are celebrating five years of marriage this week! It's been insanely hard and extraordinarily wonderful. We made a list during our anniversary dinner of "You Know It's Your 5th Anniversary When...". Here they are.

"You Know It's Your 5th Anniversary When..."

...you both order onions with dinner.

...you have a 3rd wheel in the form of your second child.

...you have to remind yourself to not talk about kids or home improvements while on a date.

Car Wanted. Non Smoker. Non Ugly.

2010-06-19T11:14:00.000-07:00

We did it! We bought a car! Or at least bought 1/3rd of a car and are financing the rest. It is SHOCKING how easy it is to get a car these days. Great car. Great deal.

She is a beauty. 2007 Honda Pilot. Barely any miles and plenty of space for our family to grow and friends to ride along. Pilots are the Dodge caravans of our generation. But more stylish.

We are so thankful!

She Was a Good Car...

2010-06-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

but it's time to say goodbye.

(I feel like my left side is my "good side" too.)

The '93 Camry served her masters well. Hers was a legacy of generosity. She began her life with the Hibbs family in Northern California. When one Hibbs daughter grew into an adult and became a married woman, the Camry traveled with her into the Hiroto family as part of that dowry. When the newly married Hiroto family flew off to their new unknown lives in Malawi, the Camry was bequeathed to us, the Leboffes, just as we returned bedraggled and penniless from our own married lives in Africa. It served all families well. The odometer is proof. We'd like to pay it forward to honor the legacy of the Camry by donating our vehicle to charity (which isn't as selfless as it seems b/c we will be reaping the tax return benefits of that decision come next spring).

You were a good car Cam. Thank you for those years. But now our family needs something not quite so high maintenance.

Farewell!

Confessions of a Tired Mom

2010-06-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

1. Night Parenting is the Worst!
Let's start a communication of honesty. Too many parents are lying about it. Too many moms feel like they have to say what a "special time" it is to just sit with their baby from 2-4am while their little one voices intense displeasure with life. The truth is I don't like night parenting. Really, who enjoys waking up multiple times a night, forever hovering in shallow sleep? Not I! But the wonderful thing is that even though night parenting is hard all the time and frustrating sometimes, we do not love our kids any less. There is still so much love for them that our hearts can't keep it all in.

2. Good Food is Best, but Sometimes ANY Dinner is a Victory!
I love watching my 2yr old eat a rainbow of vegetables with gusto. But sometimes dinner can't be a production. Last night Selah Grace ate neon orange mac and cheese...and an oreo. She loved every bite.

Mimicking Mama

2010-06-03T11:54:00.001-07:00

People have been asking us a lot lately about how Selah's taking being a big sis and having a new baby around. The answer: wonderfully. This kid is going to have two moms; me and big sis. She cares for him and bosses him. Both of which will most likely never change.

We have one exceptionally observant daughter. From the day we brought Josiah home from the hospital Selah Grace has been watching me and mimicking what I do. In the mornings I unzip her footy pajamas to find breast pads she's stuffed inside and she spent a few weeks sticking kotex to her pants.

And she loves the new baby. She used to ask about her Daddy first thing in the morning. Now she asks about Baby. When he cries she loudly makes sure we are all aware, then helpfully tries to ram a pacy in his mouth: his, hers, clean, dirty, it doesn't matter. She piles blankets on him because that's what makes her feel better when she's sad.

Lately Selah's DVD watching choices have been Happiest Baby on the Block and Itsy Bitsy Yoga, both are how-to tutorials for parents. She jiggles Josiah in his carseat and swing when he gets fussy, kisses his head or feet and makes the white noise shhhhh sound to calm him. Dr. Karp would be so proud. A few times, to our quick heart-attacks, she's tried to scoop Josiah all the way up to rock him. Selah Grace has welcomed him unreservedly into the family and refused to be tucked into bed if Josiah is not there to share in bedtime books, prayer, and kisses.

Pooh Bear has been adopted as her own baby. He gets carried around in a sling. He is held under the nursing shawl in the rocking chair to eat. Pooh gets burped and swaddled, taken for rides in the carseat and snuggled into the baby swing. His diapers are changed continually with an exclamation, "poopy again" (a commentary on how much little brother poops).

It has been a joy watching her so naturally fall into her big sis role. Plus, it has been a good (and weighty) reminder that even though she's so little she is watching and taking in every move we make as parents! Yikes and wow.

Now Open for Opinions

2010-05-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

It's time. We put it off as long as possible. But after breaking down on the highway with a backseat full of kids and watching the smoke waft out from under the hood one too many times, we have to pony up the money and buy a new car.

We think we've narrowed it down to two.

The Subaru Forrester

(complete with kayak, mountain bikes, and golden retriever)

or...

The Honda Pilot

(which from the appearance here looks like it drives on water)

We are now open for opinions. Which do you choose for us?

Needs

2010-05-27T16:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a friend asked me, "What do you need."

As someone who is too proud for her own good, the list I made was surprisingly long and came surprisingly quickly. Unfortunately most of my "needs" right now are intangibles:
*Full-time Maid
*The ability to function well on little sleep
*Patience, Kindness, you know...all those Spiritual fruit things
*Long vacation in Bora Bora with husband (Drool at picture above!)
* Everything in my life to stop breaking around me!

Since I can solve non of these things with a quick swipe of the debit card at Target, the place that meets most of my physical needs, I am going to have to work on changing the only thing I can...me.

New solution:
*Short term- be okay with messy. Long term- Learn to clean up a little as I go. Or just seal off danger sections of the house (kitchen) with caution tape.
* Accept the newborn night parenting phase instead of resenting it and remember that sleep WILL come again one day.
* Remember to ask the Holy Spirit for helpsies.
* Hulu on the couch with husband and cookies will have to do for now.
* See this as the time in our marriage we'll look back on fondly about when we were young and everthing was patched together with a little spit and a lot of prayer.

Top Ten Things I Love About Being a Stay At Home Mom

2010-05-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

10. I can read books for pleasure. Anything I want. No term paper, professional development reflection, or self-improvement required.
9. I get to grocery shop on weekday mornings when only other SAHM's and old ladies shop.
8. I have the freedom to scamper off to the zoo with my little ones for an hour if the mood hits me.
7. I can put on a playlist to life as loudly as I want.
6. I can stay in my sweatpants until noon if I feel like it.
5. Part of my "job requirement" each day is to play on the carpet with my snuggly 2yr old and listen to Raffi.
4. I get to see and hear all the "firsts" and be an active witness to the events in my kids days.
3. I am there to give snuggles, kisses, bear-hugs, and rocking chair rocks to hurt, tear-filled eyes.
2. I get to learn very intimately the way my kids work and how to best respond to their needs.
1. I get to be home when my husband walks through the door and witness the joy his return brings.

Stay At Home Mom - Best Gig in the World!

Back Into the Woods

2010-05-19T13:56:00.001-07:00

Here's the scoop. We're back into the woods again with Josiah's heart. No bad news, praises! Just good news and inconclusive news continues. We'd like to hear the cardiologist tell us to go home and don't come back. Instead we're hearing that Josiah looks great, sounds great, has great looking EKG's, x-rays, and heart ultrasounds, but....come back in a few weeks and we'll check again. So, that's what we're doing. Going to and fro the cardiologist. Even though we haven't been given a definitive ending to this heart saga, we are so thankful that at each visit we are met with the doctor's orders to take our baby home and treat him like a normal kid because his heart "issue" isn't being an issue right now.

In fact, if it weren't for the cardio waiting rooms and letters of insurance approval in the mail we would have completely forgotten he even had/has a heart issue by now. We're wrapped up in how soft his full head of newborn hair is, and how exhausted we are being awake with him from 4-5am, and how quickly his little cheek jowls are plumping up. All the wonderfulness of parenting a newborn.

We're back into the woods, but we aren't lost or overcome by the height or thickness of what's around us.

We just have to learn to be okay with inconclusiveness and continue to rejoice with each doctor visit.

Never The Same

2010-05-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

Last week Nate and I were speculating on the number of times in our lives when we are met with moments that change the trajectory of everything and leave us saying, "Life will never be the same." It seems like we have already had so many: choosing where to go to college, investing in each other as friends, investing in each other as more than friends, marriage, Malawi, Selah Grace, and now Josiah. But we know this is only the beginning of lifetime full of the moments when we are going to look at each other and wonder aloud about the way our life together will be forever changed.

Here are some snapshots of the past week in our little Leboffe family as we anticipated and experienced another life-changing moment:

Bubbles in the Yard with Daddy

Our Leboffe men nose nuzzling.

Big Sis and Little Bro Together

Happy Birthday Squared!

2010-05-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

Josiah Benjamin Leboffe

May 1st, 2010
6 pounds, 13 ounces
18.5 inches

Today was Selah Grace's second birthday. We had big plans to go to the zoo, have a picnic lunch in Balboa Park, then have cupcakes and presents with Grammie, Grandpa, Auntie, and Unkie.

Baby brother had other plans.

Jenny started having contractions around 4 am, and by 5:30 we were at the hospital ready to welcome the newest member of the family. A couple of hours in Triage, a few hours of waiting around in Labor & Delivery, and at 2:30 pm, after 4 super-pushes (no joke---the kid was streamlined), we got to meet our son!

They monitored him for a while in the delivery room, and they decided he was well enough that he didn't even have to go down to the NICU, but could stay with us. Praise God!
They did the planned ultrasound to look at his heart, so now we just have to wait for the results of that (hopefully tomorrow). Lord willing he will be all clear, everything the right size, and given the go-ahead to go home with us.

Apparently May 1st is THE day to be born in the Leboffe family. We think it's kind of cool that our kids are birthday-buddies. Whether they think so in a few years will be a different story!

Little Man's Day at the Park

2010-04-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

The nursery is finished! (For now.)

I would like to place a "before shot" of the room here....however we accidentally erased a number of pictures and everything on our external hard drive while attempting to transfer old pictures to the external hard drive. Oops. Just imagine an empty room with a very small closet with sliding mirrored doors.

And now....

This is the view from the door.

Remember the turquoise dresser from DIY projects of months past? We brought it in to be our changing table and the room took off from there. The basket came from Ross for a few bucks and holds our diapering essentials (diaper caddies are EXPENSIVE!). Thank you Target for the great and inexpensive lamp (it only took three returns for me to pick out the correct lampshade).

Next, I had this vision of painting a tree on the wall, which morphed into a vision of starching fabric pieces on the wall to create an Eric Carle collage effect, which drifted its way into this final reality: I cut shapes out of thick cardboard and staple-gunned fabric around them, then nailed them onto the wall. And yes, that's our son's name: Josiah Benjamin Leboffe!

After the tree I started down the track of nature and parks so that's where the rest of our decor comes from. The tree is very imaginative and free-form and is more representative of what side of the brain I mainly use. Nate is more mathematically programmed. Because the tree was such a dominating presence of me in the room, I wanted to bring something in for Josiah that represented his daddy. What goes with trees? Birds! How do you make them graphic and mathematical? Turn them into a tessellation! And viola, you have the wall...
I'm no good at tessellations so I cheated here a little bit by printing off a picture, enlarging it, then using it to cut a stencil out of the side of an old Cheerio box. We LOVE the end result. It was definitely an act of love to finish: tracing all birds in pencil, painting in birds, painting in birds SECOND coat, touching up all the feathers with a small paintbrush. Many late hours and good friends helping. The birds are staying up until we move or Josiah graduates high school, whatever comes first.
Let's also take a moment to appreciate the fact that there are no more mirrored closet doors! The closet is small anyway. Imagine only being able to reach in there one half at a time! I got friendly with the power tools and set the mirrors up in the garage with Husband's exercise equipment. With a few homemade curtain panels, valance, and tie-backs, along with the fabulous hanging organizer, this closet is much more functional and eye-catching! (The curtains in this room were my first big sewing project.)

Here is our amazing new-to-us crib we bought from a lady for a very little amount of money. It is SUPER sturdy and also perfect for the room. A favorite of big sister right now is the shaggy green rug. It was my vision of really soft grass in the room. And didn't my friend Serena do a great job sewing Josiah a sweet little quilt!

Friends and family have either given us or made so many lovely little blankets for us to use that I needed somewhere to store them. How about in a fabulously turquoise metal drink tote from Target! Thanks Aunt Kathy for the fabulous patchwork quilt that ties all the colors in the room together and to mom for making a crocheted blankie the perfect size to cover up that infant Tylenol stain on the ottoman.

Instead of a mobile above his crib, we have kites flying high to complete the day at the park theme this room turned into. The cool thing is that they are real kites so we can go use them when he gets old enough!

And that is little man Josiah Benjamin Leboffe's room! It was a lot of fun just dreaming up fun elements and finding inexpensive ways to accomplish them. Now we're just waiting for him to come join us!

Prelude of Things To Come

2010-04-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

Neon plastic eggs scurry along the hallway, reminders of the past holiday. Clean, albeit wrinkled clothes are picked out to be worn for the day not from drawers, but from the pile on the bedroom floor that never quite got folded. The hanging plant is looking slightly droopy, its slumped shoulders tacitly asking me for water and sunlight each time I pass through the living room. There is more than one tupperware of questionable content in the fridge.

At first glance this appears to be a slightly messy home. But today I saw it as a prelude of things to come. We get to meet our son sometime in the next few weeks! While I would like for our home to look like we walked into a magazine shoot with everything glistening clean and throw pillows plumped, that's just not our reality.

We're ready for this little one to come add to the mess and tiredness and joy!

Setting Boundaries

2010-04-14T11:50:00.000-07:00

Boundary: (noun) A line that marks the limit of an area; a dividing line; a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.

I know all about setting and maintaining healthy boundaries...in theory. The actual practice of this needs some work. I like helping. I like being in the middle of the fray. I like knowing what's going on and enthusiastically want to be involved in the process. Basically I'm a busy-body that doesn't want to be left out. And if I can use my greatest spiritual gift in the process (bossing people) then that's even better! The result of these desires to actively participate and help make great visions come to fruition has left my boundary lines faded.

For someone who doesn't work outside the home I have A LOT of responsibilities right now. Not to mention the newborn coming soon! When you ask me how I'm going to do it, I honestly don't know how exactly it is going to get done, but I do know it will get done. I thought about quitting all my responsibilities while I was worrying the other night. But we're "past the point of no return" as the Phantom would sing. And quitting is the selfish, easy option. But following through on the promise I gave in these relationships is more important.

Instead of quitting, I'm doing something I don't usually do. I'm asking for help. And to my amazement I'm receiving it...in abundance.

In this season of busyness here is a lesson learned.

In the words of "Dirty Harry", "A man's got to know his limitations."

So as these responsibilities begin coming to an end I'm going to be drawing a line and saying no even when I think it'd be really fun to say yes.

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

There was a poll last week during our marrieds group of whether to do the Easter Bunny or not with your kids. (We're a pro Easter bunny/Santa/tooth fairy family as long as the true meaning of why we celebrate Christmas and Easter are the main focus.) We didn't really talk too much about bunnies this year with Selah, but she did have a basket that she adored with Cheerio-filled plastic eggs and had a grand time finding eggs in Grammy and Grandpa's backyard. We celebrated the resurrection of Jesus this morning at church and celebrated life and family this afternoon with lunch and yard games. It was a good Easter Sunday. And Selah Grace even wore the huge Easter bow I made for her the whole day! Unprecedented. We tried to take a nice little family Easter portrait, but it was too far past naptime for that to happen. So, here are some other pics from the day.

Playing in Grammy's garden. She calls the little angel statue, "Mama." So kind.

Yes, I let my child drink out of the fountain. All in the name of a good picture.

Selah loves playing ladder golf with us. While we were playing we felt the ripples of the earthquake in Baja California. It was crazy how long it kept going.

St. Patrick's Day Bows

2010-03-27T14:03:00.000-07:00

My mom came out to visit us during her spring break. Selah Grace enjoyed having extra Grandy attention and also someone to share her bows with!

How To Eat Peanut Butter Toast

2010-03-06T08:55:00.000-08:00

Step 1: Place Toast Squarely on Table in Front of You with Tongue Poised to Lick.

Step 2: Chomp a Bite Directly from Top/Middle. Must Hold Breath While PB Goes Up Nostrils.

Step 3: Chew and Cheer the Wonders of Peanut Butter Toast!

Competition

2010-03-04T15:21:00.000-08:00

Whether from nature's design or a childhood filled with intense sports, I am an incredibly competitive person. It may not match my diminutive frame, but its the truth of who I am. I like winning. A LOT. Always have. The competition doesn't really matter. Competitive sports, group projects, Wii speed slice, "friendly" board games...I'm out for the kill.

Nate is a competitive person also, but in a different way. He played division one soccer in college. He knows what it means to want to win and to give all of himself toward that end. But he's able to draw a healthy line. Me? Start a silly round of charades with friends and I get crazy eyes. Adrenaline pumps and I start to bead up with sweat. I want to win. No, I HAVE to win. (For any Friends watchers out there, I am Monica Gellar in the great Barbados Ping Pong Tourney. I even have the hair.)

Sometimes this displays itself in ugly ways. Like the time I lost to Nate at cards and in disgust threw my hand in his direction and hit him in the eye. Hence beginning the great Jenny Card Probation of 2005 that was just recently repealed. I know I'm a bad loser. I'm working on that. I'm trying to learn a thing or two from Nate about being a gracious loser. Basically how to not throw a tantrum or think daggers at the competition.

After purposefully blocking Nate's next move while playing a board game the other night (and laughing maniacally about it) I was again so thankful that he appreciates the fact that competition is part of my makeup. That he knows and loves me because of it and not in spite of it. That he isn't trying to change me. Instead of trying to purge this part of me, I'm going to embrace it...and maybe just work on being better about losing.

So thank you Nate for loving me the way I am in all my competitive craziness. I'm so glad that the two of us aren't wasting years trying to strong-arm the other spouse into being a better person. There's freedom in that and health in our marriage. Also helpful to maintain harmony is being on the same team whenever possible.

In-Progress

2010-03-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

Forgive the chaos of our blog's eye-sores. Consider this an insider's look at the "during" of a creative process, the time right before everything comes together when everything is seemingly so disjointed. I'm trying to figure out how to add bits and pieces of pretty things to our blog, but it requires a lot of the technical computer know-how that I just don't know. I'm learning...and until then you get to be in the middle of the mess!

Every Heart Beat Bears Your Name!

2010-02-26T19:55:00.000-08:00

Nate and I went to Rady Children's Hospital today here in San Diego to get a special ultrasound on our little guy's heart. Until today doctors have been telling us that there is something wrong with his heart, but they aren't exactly sure what, but most likely we're looking at heart surgery between birth and two years. Ug. So unsettling not knowing WHAT is going on. So today Nate and I were praying that we could get some answers and make a gameplan with the doctors for when our son enters the world in May.

Walking down the seemingly overly cheerful hallway of the children's hospital toward the cardiology department I had the realization that if our guy has a heart problem, then maybe he's going to not be able to oxygenate his brain properly and end up with brain damage as well. Glad I just thought of that a few short steps away from the appointment and not weeks earlier so that worry didn't have time to stew.

About 30 minutes into the ultrasound I was thinking about how much I miss our South African OBGYN who delivered our daughter. And then...a nod from God; the pediatric cardio specialist walked into the room and said hello in his South African accent. Already a good sign.

This intelligent man then proceeded to use a diagram of a heart and draw in his own illustrations as he explained (HOORAY! A DOCTOR FINALLY EXPLAINED TO US!) what is going on inside our son's heart. Not only was this doctor intelligent, he was also gifted with patience because he repeated the explanation multiple times to this concerned mom and remained with us until all questions and doubt were exhausted.

And now the diagnosis in Dr. Fripp's own words:
"There is no problem."

And now the prognosis in Dr. Fripp's own words:
"Nothing needs to be done."

For you scientifically minded people out there, our little guy has what is called a persistent left superior vena cava. Basically, everyone has a right superior vena cava and our baby also has one on the left side. Little overachiever! This is pumping some extra blood into the right atrium and making it difficult for the doctors to see and measure the mitral valve. We're going to go back in four weeks just to triple check everything, but that is really just precautionary.

So here we are. The medical journey isn't over yet, but it feels like closure is being ushered forward on our family's medical uncertainty. Nate and I were prepared to just take whatever comes one day at a time, to commit ourselves for caring for one another, and to know that we are being cared for. (Something we learned in the Great Malaria Scare of '06)

We have prayed through a path of doctors hearing news that something could seriously be wrong, to not knowing if our baby would survive being on its own after birth, to maybe a chronic heart problem, to potentially heart surgery at birth, to he simply has an extra vein and nothing is wrong. Wow, what a progression!

Thank you for your prayers. We will sleep very peacefully tonight.

Mediocre Housekeeping

2010-02-25T15:31:00.000-08:00

I'm no housekeeper. Far from it. But there are a few little tricks I've realized that don't take long and make the whole house feel cleaner and more manageable. These are three housekeeping tricks that make me go "MMM" inside.

1. Manage the dining room table.
Yes, it is the easiest place for piles of mail, projects, diaper bags, clean laundry, and whatever else to get dumped. Ours is often hidden under mountains of grab-and-go life as we rush in and out of the house. But in those moments or days when I can keep off the clutter, it truly brings air to my lungs!

2. Mop.
Moping I can do. Mopping? I dread it. I put it off for days that turn into weeks because in my head mopping is such a dreaded ordeal. If it weren't for hosting community group at our house and my pride it may never occur. Today I timed it. After just one One Republic song and two minutes of Jimmy Eat World, the whole ordeal was done. Six minutes friends to retrieve and fill bucket, mop an entry way, hallway, dining room, kitchen, living room, and sunroom, find hidden Zofrans under the table, discipline toddler who wanted to Sharpie the furniture, and put bucket away. So if Amy Grant and Rod Stewart were dominating the airwaves the last time you mopped, go ahead and try again. It won't take more than two good songs.

3. Make the Bed.
It seems like a pointless task. Really, you're just going to crawl back in them again later. But straightening out the bed only takes a minute and it makes the entire room clean. Nate has dubbed me the Princess and the Pea because I can feel every tiny little crease or weight-distribution inconsistency with our bedding and can't fall asleep until its fixed. So if I'm going to be getting out of bed huffing and puffing pulling sheets around at night, then I might as well take a minute to make the bed in the morning and enjoy the benefits of a clean bedroom all day long.

Accessorizing

2010-02-22T15:49:00.000-08:00

Girls. We seem to be born with two things. An opinion and a desire to be beautiful.

At younger than two, Selah Grace has long since become the dictator of her fashion. She picks out her shoes each morning and her chosen jammies each night. And in between she has a grand time adding and deleting fashion accessories that may or may not go with the season: stocking caps, beach hats, headbands, watches, necklaces, band-aids, etc. That's how we end up at toddler story time in the library wearing a cute little outfit with sparkly shoes and a striped beanie in 70 degree weather. I can't wait to see what this turns into as she grows older and dresses herself for school!

Is this a head trama? No, she just felt the need to wear all six of her headbands at once.

Mama's necklaces make the best tiaras.

This day she wanted to be a ballerina and wore her tutu and crown all afternoon.

"Chillaxing" and Keeping Our Eyes on the Big Picture

2010-02-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

Blanket statements. Never universally true. Let's begin with one, shall we?

There seem to be two types of people: calm and high-strung. At least that is the way adults in this household can be categorized. Nate is the calm. I'll let you guess who the high-strung one is.

Nate's inner calm would have yoga gurus drooling. He walks into a room and even the yappiest of psychotic dogs lay at his feet in hopes of a belly rub. Nate's inner spirit is the Jack Johnson, acoustic fingered guitar, beach-bongo melody.

My inner calm is slightly more frenetic. So, a lot more. But I recognize this along with the need to move away from the high-strung end of the spectrum and back to where Nate is, resting in a pool of nonchalance. Being a stay-at-home-mom by profession and a perfectionist by nature, it is easy to equate being a perfect wife and perfect mom and a perfectly spotless house with success. Ha! Don't worry. I know that equation is crazy! But still, multiple times a day I have to remind myself to "chillax."

At the end of the day it will not be detrimental to our family's development if:
1. Selah eats quinoa pasta with prego sauce AGAIN for dinner.
2. There are dishes in the sink when people come over.
3. We are 10 minutes late to everything in life.

It may sound trite or roll off like a meaningless platitude, but this Leboffe household is trying to see the big picture and not sweat the small stuff. It comes easier for some of us under this roof than others, but a willingness toward the right attitude has to count for something!

Creating

2010-02-18T22:19:00.000-08:00

There's something so central to God in creating something new. Right now we are creating in two places: in the dark, comfy confines of my womb, and in the empty room of the future nursery. Inside my tummy something magical and spiritual is happening. A person is being made!

But in our empty room we are getting a chance to imagine a new space for a new family member. It used to house icky blue carpet and precarious towers of boxes of things we haven't gone through in almost five years of marriage merge. Now it boasts a fresh coat of paint and new carpet, but is still rather barren. Although I moan about how long it seems to take babies to grow, it's a good thing that God gives us time to prepare a place for them in our homes and hearts.

Here's a picture of our little guy's space now:

Here's a "before" picture of our little guy's future space:

Yep, pretty boring right now. Nate and I are throwing around some ideas right now to make a big impact on a low budget. Think fabric, trees, kites, and tesselations. Stay tuned for the big reveal in a month or so when we get it done!

My Valentine

2010-02-16T07:49:00.000-08:00

Nate knows that I don't want a little glass swan vase with a rose and a bow on it from the grocery store on Valentine's Day. No thank you. While I didn't get flowers from my husband this past Sunday, he did get me something that showed me just how much he cares.

Nothing says love to a pregnant lady like carne asada fries. Thanks, Hubby. I love you too.

(Yes, I do realize these look absolutely disgusting. And yes, I do know these are NOT on the Jillian Michael's approved diet plan.)

Lovely Saturdays

2010-01-31T14:04:00.000-08:00

Pancakes, Coronado, Picnics, Naps, and Wii: The Ingredients to a Great Saturday.

I think it's a crime to live so close to the ocean, but not see the beach very often during the winter months. Nate feels like going to the beach and not getting in the water is the equivalent of driving to Disneyland and sitting in the parking lot all day. The obvious solution here is that we need to get Nate a wetsuit.

I need time outside in beautiful places to fill up my soul tank. I also need quality time with my little family. Although Nate doesn't need these things in the same way, he happily took his wife, daughter, and little developing boy to spend the morning at Coronado together this Saturday.

We strolled along the beach, meandered around lovely neighborhoods, then spent time having a picnic in the park and playing on the slides. It was sunny and breezy, but not too cool. It was beautiful. It wasn't extravagant. It was perfect. Thanks for filling up my love tank Nate!

Family Self-Portrait on the rocks by the dunes at Coronado.

We call this her Flocks of Seagulls Hair. It was in a cute pony and bow, but she wanted to feel the full glory of the wind in her essence and therefore flung her restrictive bow to the ground. I understand Little One. Something about the beach that calls for a desire to be free.

Fun on the slides with Daddy. We spent a lot of time here going down and gleefully requesting one more round. "Uhn," she says with eyebrows raised and an expectant smile and a chubby little finger resting on her cheek.

And what better way to end the day than to come home, take a LOOOOONG nap, then play a little Mario Kart Wii with Daddy.

Having a completely free Saturday is a rarity in our household, but they are oh so good when they do come!

How We Purposefully Potty Trained Our Toddler on Accident

2010-01-27T07:48:00.000-08:00

As always, I had a plan. And as always, Selah Grace had her own ideas.

The plan was to ease Selah into potty training, allow her some potty "knowledge" and "experience" before I plop her into that tiny plastic chair and ask her to tinkle. For the past month or so we've been utilizing our local library checking out picture books, videos, and songs about potty training. Smart little one that she is, she's picked up right away on new potty signs and eagerly strings three baby signs together: book, potty, music to let us know when she would like to sing the potty songs from one particular book.

The plan:
1. Begin reading all these stories, sing these songs, talk about the potty, etc.
2. Buy Selah Grace her own potty and put it in the bathroom for her to explore for a month or so.
3. Begin the training.

We got as far as step 1, but the plan derailed at 2.
She was so excited to USE her potty that the second we got home from the store she pulled her pants down, ripped her diaper off, and spent the rest of the afternoon naked running back and forth to her little potty to sit and the toilet paper to "wipe", which basically consists of wheeling off streamers of tp and throwing them in the big people toilet.

So far she's only really used her potty once, but she gets the concept. So that is how we purposefully potty-trained our toddler on accident.

And now by popular request: The Pee Pee Dance
(She gets a little camera shy so she's less animated than usual. But she's bent over and holding her knees together like the lyrics suggest. And no comments please on the big pregnant lady hopping around.)

Roll Call of Our Favorite Potty Books

This book holds a wealth of potty songs set to popular tunes, such as The Itsy Bitsy Poo Poo. It is by far the family favorite.

" A 'witty' and 'gentle' " tale of potty training.
This one is fun for S.G. to act out while we read.

In this story the toddler teaches her bunny to use the potty. Selah has her own stuffed bunny that she drags around so she loves this one.

Rainy Days

2010-01-19T13:32:00.000-08:00

There's something about being home on a rainy day that is just so wonderful. I love the rain. Granted, if you are trying to drive through a downpour that can be unnerving. Or if you are stuck in a classroom with 25 sun-deprived kids climbing walls on a rainy day schedule, that can push you into insanity. But if you are lucky enough to be tucked into home on a rainy afternoon the possibilities are scrumptious. Some of my favorite wet weather, indoor activities include:
* cuddling into sweatpants
* reading
* watching movies (preferably dramatic epics full of romance and adventure like Empire of the Sun or Joy Luck Club)
* snacking on hot chocolate and homemade bread
* falling asleep on the couch with the rain pittering in the background

San Diego doesn't get much rain and the storms we receive are pretty mild. It has been such a treat for me to enjoy a few rainy days.

Dreams

2010-01-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning I was congratulating myself on my current sanguine state about having a newborn while wading into the murky and fickle waters of parenting a toddler. By Saturday afternoon I had considered all the things I wanted to get done before the little one comes: organize garage, decorate nursery, transition 20 month old to toddler bed, potty train said toddler, find cheap deep freeze for garage, fill said deep freeze with a year's supply of casseroles, etc. Goodbye sanguine mom, hello slightly overwhelmed mom, but still optimistic this will all happen in time and happen smoothly.

By Saturday night my dreams were a little more honest.

Dream #1: I'm driving a friend's red truck down a hill. A stoplight and t-junction are coming, but none of my attempts at pumping the brakes or pulling the emergency brake on are helping. We go careening through the light at 120mph and I make a wild turn at the T, while cars honk and spin-out to avoid us.

Dream #2: I'm driving again. Little silver car now and this time the route I'm supposed to be taking is all closed down so I have to go trek down a different road, which puts me on an onramp, which turns out to actually be an off-ramp for the other cars. I'm driving the wrong way down the highway and have to do some sweet Italian Job action to make things right while narrowly missing the large group of stroller-pushing moms in yoga pants out for a morning pram parade.

Dream #3: Still driving. Things seem okay until I realize that the petals are kind of far away. I can just barely reach them with tip-toes if I scooch down, but the steering wheel is tilted really weird, and I'm trying to buckle up to no avail, and something else feels really weird. Why is the distance to the front of the car so hard to judge? Oh crap, I'm in the backseat!

I looked up car dreams in the dream dictionary and here's what it said. Car dreams are an indication of your dependence/independence and the degree of control you have on your life. Having trouble with seat belts means you're worried about the future. Speeding and viewing your speedometer represents your pace of life, how hard you are driven to complete something, and that things are moving too fast.

I don't think I really needed help clearing any of that up. Those symbols seem pretty obvious.

Now I'm no dream interpreter expert, but when I woke up Sunday morning I had to admit that maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me that I don't feel quite so in control or easy-going about the changes in our life as I thought. My positive attitude has just been giving myself pep-talks, but at the core this all feels out of my hands.

But God, so good with knowing what I need put this verse in front of me Sunday morning:
"God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

The truth is that the steering wheel isn't in my hands and it doesn't need to be! Knowing that God is faithful makes careening down this road both exhilarating and trusted. Life, here we come!

Losing a Layer

2010-01-06T11:40:00.000-08:00

While on a stroller walk through Balboa Park with a friend this morning we touched upon the topic of how many kids we would like to have. (Yes, I know that giving demands to the Creator like I'm ordering up the house special is rather futile but we all have an idea of what we think we would like.) Their family would like to have two. Two seems like a safe number. Parents can mark children man to man and don't have to fall back into zone defense. The whole family can fit into an economical and ecological sedan, along with the family dog. Although adding any number of kids into the equation will inevitably increase the crazy, two kids seems manageable. There can still be a reasonable amount of order with two.

But what happens when you throw in more? Nate and I would like more than two. With three the family still can fit into that cute little car. Sans family dog of course. But teams aren't even when there's only three siblings to play against each other. It's looking like it's going to have to be four.

Another one of my friends, who is a mom of three, said that with the third child a layer of life is stripped away. She isn't saying that the joy in life is taken. She's just saying that the thin barrier between ordering everything to be maintained and maintaining order is gone. When there are three problems that need immediate attention, you work as if in triage. Patch up what's necessary for THIS instant, move on to the next, then go back and smooth everything over. Transaction costs were talked about incessantly in our college political science courses and abstractly in our philosophy courses. I think you only truly understand transaction costs when you become a parent, and then only really feel them deeply when you become a parent to more than one.

If this is already what happens with three, then why not have four? We like the idea of the number four. It's a good round number.

Foreseeable problems to navigate: financing a family of six, driving anywhere together as a family, sharing rooms, listening to unthoughtful/uncensored people balk at the size of our family.

Foreseeable solutions: pressure's on to be incredibly smart and athletic like their daddy, I've always preferred SUV's anyway, that's just the way it's going to be so enjoy the nightly slumber parties, that's their problem not ours!

You may think we're crazy, but I say bring on the chaos! It sounds like a marvelous time!

Trouble Shooting Marital Bliss

2010-01-03T14:14:00.000-08:00

We all have our weird little quirks. I for instance: keep a running commentary while driving, don't like listening to people chew, look for the shopping cart with the least amount of hair wrapped around the wheels, need the sheets pulled taught, and have to have the cupboard doors closed while watching tv. Nate doesn't have to work around any of these oddities, but I know he has a few of his own.

I've learned to live with mine, but there is one thing that I'm just not sure how to master...
Nate's pocket pile. I need help from you out there. What do I do with this pile of boy stuff (in a very loving wife way of course) that gets unloaded onto our dresser every afternoon? I need ideas to keep the keys, work keys, wallet, chapstick, deodorant, bank statement, sports ticket, lint, etc. out of eyesight. Anyone out there conquered this dilemma?

Lifestyle Goals for 2010

2009-12-31T21:08:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2010!

New Year's resolutions never really seem to stick. So instead of resolutions, this year I'm writing down some lifestyle goals I feel compelled to incorporate into my life.

Jenny's Lifestyle Goals for 2010:
* Write. Without concern for convention or usefulness. Just because I like it.
* Submit small articles to magazines. Who knows?
* Potty train Selah Grace before her baby brother arrives.
* Be active. (The recent adoption of Wii into our home has already bumped this up.)
* Balance being a wife/mom/friend/etc and extend grace to myself when I can't seem to find the balance.

Nate's Lifestyle Goals for 2010:
* Not make any lifestyle goals (fail).

Favorite Things

2009-12-30T18:44:00.000-08:00

The Sound of Music was on TV the other night and as I sang along with Julie I started to make a mental list of what some of my favorite things are. I really could make separate lists devoted to the different genres of my life: favorite baby things, mama things, woman things, ministry things, etc. But life doesn't really get to be in separate, clean, segmented compartments. So here it is. Obviously my ultimate favorite things are my husband and daughter, but I'm not putting people on the list. All in a jumble...my recent favorite things:

Costco Baby Wipes
Because let's face it, we've got a lot of diapers to change and buying these puppies in bulk for wholesale prices is the only sensible thing to do. But not only are they great for wiping little bottoms, they are also great for napkins on BBQ night, cleaning up sticky spills in the cup holder of the car, dusting furniture, cleaning mirrors, swiping picture frames, and de-sanding feet after the beach. We have packs all over the house serving all kinds of purposes. They're great!

Our Public Library
I love the public library. We are in there at least once, if not twice a week. Free books galore. Free DVD's galore. Free baby books galore. Free baby DVD's galore. And if that weren't enough...They also have a Friends of the Library bookstore with GREAT books on sale for $1 or less. They have musical concerts. They have a toddler story and dance time where we go have stories read to us interactively and we sing and dance and learn. AND there are two service dogs at this library. One cocker spaniel who as far as I can tell just lays around and lets little kids pet it. Selah loves him. The other is a big collie who's job is to snuggle next to kids and let them read books to him. Selah loves him too. She loves going to the library these days (we're still working on the quiet sqeals of glee). First she looks for the puppies, then she goes and picks out a DVD for herself, then a board book, then hugs the stuffed penguin on the children's rug, then goes to the kids' tables to color, then either sweetly holds my hand while I pick out books and movies for myself or runs amuk "rearranging" books and creating an early exit for us.

Gold Eye Shadow
It's fun and girlie. What can I say? It isn't very inconspicuous, but it's fun to shimmer sometimes.

Chick-Fil-A Sandwich and Waffle Fries
Yum!

Microwave
This may seem like a weird one, but it's true. I didn't like living without a microwave for so many years. Mainly because it takes a lot of forthought and planning or a lot of grossness to defrost meat for dinner without one of these. Also great for melting chocolate perfectly every time and zapping frozen vegetables. It just seems so much easier to make dinner if you have one of these.

Baby Signs
These have been such a joy for our family. Why wouldn't you do them? They are easy and fun to learn, based on ASL and whatever our own little one makes up. Even though Selah Grace can't really speak to us in more than two word sentences, she precisely communicates and has been for quite some time! Thanks baby signs! Her new sign of the week is for Nintendo Wii. She holds one arm out stiff and waves wildly like she has a controller in her hand. Smart little girl. Maybe Mama and Daddy shouldn't play so much?...

Beth Moore Bible Studies
Okay, so I know I said people weren't going on the list, but it isn't Beth Moore that I love so much (although I do) as it is her Bible studies she writes for women. I'm not very good at giving myself a structure, so I appreciate the structure of the studies she writes and I always learn so much about history, about the character of God, and about myself when I do them. They are so good!

Labeler
I like organized closets. Don't be fooled. We don't actually have any of those in our house, but I've seen them at other people's places and I like the dream of having our very own some day. My sister-in-law gave me a labeler for Christmas and I've already run the batteries down using it so much. It brings me great joy.

Double Stuffed Oreos and Milk
I can't get enough milk these days. Also can't get enough double-stuffeds. Oreos are really one thing you can't skimp on and buy generic. Hydrox just aren't the same. There's only one Oreo and they only taste better with pregnancy!

And to make it a nice, round 10 things...

The Hot Glue Gun
I like being crafty and making things. It is incredible the amount of craftiness that can come from wielding this $2 weapon!

Those are my things that I love this week. They will most likely change next week. Any of you have any favorites that life just wouldn't be the same without?

Merry Christmas Morning

2009-12-25T14:24:00.000-08:00

Last year was Selah's first Christmas, but she was still a little baby and just working on crawling toward presents. This year she was a much more enthusiastic participant. She still didn't know why there were presents under the tree, but she did have a marvelous time exploring the wonder of Christmas morning. It was so much fun for Nate and I watch her little face light up in discovery!

Here's a little montage of the morning. From our home to yours...

Holiday Movie List and the Missing Piece

2009-12-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

There's just some movies that we grow up watching around Christmas time that become stamped into the holiday tradition. In fact it almost doesn't feel like Christmas until I've seen them. TNT's 24hr marathon of the Christmas Story on Thanksgiving Day seems to herald in the beginning of the Christmas season with John-the-Baptist like "Prepare Ye The Way" proclamation. It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on the 34th Street seem to be the quintessential holiday movies about family and recognizing the treasure right under your nose. Others are newer, but seem to be instant classics. These are the movies Nate and I enjoy watching year after year (in no particular order):

And yes, I love watching each of these movies (sometimes in the middle of July b/c I've missed them since December) but do you see anything wrong with this picture? (Not with my movie choices, but with their absence.) This is Christmas after all.

Walk down the thought road with me for a moment. It will become clear in a minute...

My cousin married a man from Venezuela. In their culture they hide the baby Jesus in the nativity set on Christmas Eve and put him back in the scene on Christmas Day, the celebrated day of his birth. Happy Birthday! Today after spending almost an hour in a Target parking lot waiting for a spot, making a return, and walking away almost in tears, after talking with my husband about the budget for the month, and after forgetting to do the advent calendar as a family before putting the little one in bed, I'm beginning to feel like the hands of hurriedness and impossible expectations have hidden our Jesus from our Nativity season. He's just a little baby, and is easily hidden behind mounds of packages!

Something feels off. Especially now that we have little ones in our family, Nate and I want to try to bring Love back into the Christmas picture. We need some divine inspiration to know how to do this without retreating to some equally unholy place of asceticism. Even if you don't believe in Jesus, you do believe that Christmas time is supposed to be about Love. Right now it feels like there is a lot of Love missing from the Christmas season, at least in San Diego.

It just doesn't quite "feel like Christmas" until I've sung along with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye or recited the Pledge of Allegiance to bless the food with Aunt Bethany. But shouldn't it really not feel like Christmas until we put baby Jesus back in the Nativity?

Opposites Attract

2009-12-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

Five years ago when Nate and I were dutifully and eagerly sitting through our premarital class (respectively), the facilitator enthusiastically announced to everyone that ONE couple was completely opposite in every category and on every spectrum of the Myers Briggs personality assessment we had recently taken and wasn't that fun! That one couple was us. Nate is an ISTJ. I'm an ENFP.

Essentially this means that...
Nate is:
Introverted - Recharges his batteries through alone time.
Sensing- Gathers information through facts and details
Thinking- Makes decisions based on logic
Judging - Works in a linear, methodical, scheduled path
(Nate likes to joke that this last one boils down to the fact that he makes sense and I don't. To him and other ISTJ's, I'm sure that is true.)

I'm an:
Extroverted- Recharge through socializing
INtuitive- Gathers information conceptually through chunks
Feeling - Makes decisions based on feelings and how those choices will affect relationship with others
Perceiving - Works in bursts of inspiration/passion

This personality typing stuff just fascinates me. I don't think we can put all our eggs in this one basket to try to explain ourselves or use it as an excuse to justify poor behavior, but it does shed a lot of light on how we do daily operations.

I was recently reading about our two types and came across the following explanations. ENFP's: "In love relationships they are intensely loyal but are often looking to make the relationship a little better or think its not quite what it could be." That's so me. ISTJ's:"In love relationships the ISTJ is a strong believer in taking responsibility. They also say the things they mean. Often they are accused of being uncaring but they view the benchmark of commitment by actions and not words." That's so Nate.

Opposites attracting is not a new phenomenon. But why does it happen? Surely it isn't just some cosmic joke, but a God-ordained plan. Apparently Nate and I need a lot of our rough edges smoothed out, because trying to live well in a marriage with someone who receives, processes, and expresses life differently than the way you do it can be a very grating and baffling thing! (And we're not even opening the can of proverbial worms surrounding the fact that he is a man and I am a woman.) But Nate and I both love the way the other was made! I may never understand how parties can be so draining to him and he may never understand making decisions based on anything and everything but logical data. Just doing daily life together and trying to appreciate those God-crafted differences instead of strangling one another is a pure act of worship! Although we may not fully understand the why's of eachother, there isn't a chance we'd change one another. We are definitely a couple of opposites with strong polar attraction. Love you babe!

The Bodily Woes of Pregnancy

2009-12-20T14:06:00.000-08:00

It seems that once you become pregnant, all hell breaks loose in your body. Yes, there are the upped number of hormones making you even more emotionally unbalanced than was already happening just because of your shear womanness. There is the hyper-production of serotonin that sends your inner ear, brain, and stomach all out of whack. That's the lovely stuff that makes you sprint to the toilet and cling to the porcelin rim as if it were the last life preserver on the Titanic. Yes, there is the gassiness and the back pain and the disturbed sleep. We all know about this litany of woes. And I won't even begin the discussion of what my breasts have been through with pregnancy, breast-feeding, weaning, and pregnancy with no break in patterned cycle in sight for years...

But now, my second pregnancy in I'm learning about new ones. Like, what is this sudden shot of pain in my groin that makes my leg buckle beneath me? And WHY does it feel like my hip popped out of it's socket and somone is kicking my knee in at the same time? These are new and they HURT! Are you kidding me? This second one has happened on and off, but today it happened so painfully I was calculating the cost/benefits of a trip to the ER and picturing myself in some sort of hip-to-toe brace. So maybe that was a dramatic thought, but it was painful.

Nate talked me through waiting out the pain and letting it relax for a few minutes. Through his athletic knowledge of anatomy and sports medicine and my wicked Wikepedia skills, we have self-diagnosed that this is a problem with my iliotibial band. Usually reserved for runners, cyclists, and weight-lifters this gives lateral pain in the knee. However, there are those of us who are lucky enough in pregnancy to have this pain come on sharply and all the way from the hip through the knee and below where the it band attaches to the tibia. Excellent.

"ITBS can also occur where the IT band connects to the hip, though this is less likely as a sports injury. It commonly occurs during pregnancy, as the connective tissues loosen and the woman gains weight -- each process adding more pressure." -Wikepedia

I finally figured out why the arches of my feet have been cramping. I need more arch support because I'm increasing the weight and pressure on them. Now my I.T. band is sending me to the floor. Basically my body is rebelling against me getting "fat". I'm trying to tell it that this is only temporary and for a good cause!

What's In A Name

2009-12-18T08:06:00.000-08:00

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet." -Juliet

It's that time. That time to seriously start considering names for this new baby. For a little boy, it appears that this is easier said than done. With our daughter we had three names Nate and I both really liked, but Selah Grace was always the clear winner. I have a couple more girl names saved in my back pocket if we ever find ourselves needing a pink name again.

But boy names...Nate and I just can't agree. I've been teasing him about giving the kiddo a cowboy-ed up name to continue in the pro rodeo business like his second cousin, Hunter. We have Levi, Earl, Wyatt, Cooper, Colton, Buck, Reno, Walker, and Dallas on that list. I think I have cousins with a lot of these names. And to tell the truth I like a lot of them myself. There are also some awesome names in the genre of famous cowboy star horses; Pardner, Trigger, Champion! So many possibilities!

Selah was (lovingly) nicknamed "The Beast" for a while by some friends before she was born because she was making me so sick. That has a nice ring to it.

The boy names I like in earnest are ones Nate doesn't like and vice-versa. My theory is that this marvelous little child already has the perfect name that is his and we just haven't discovered it yet. I'm sure it will hit me when it is revealed to me and I will just know that this is my baby's name!

Hopefully it is sooner than later or else we'll have to take our old pastor and friend, Brian's advice and name the kid Bach. Coupled with our last name, we'd have a little slice of baklava!

A Christmas Miracle

2009-12-16T21:55:00.000-08:00

Please appreciate the asymmetrical Arsenio Hall cut on the troll with hot pink hair. I was definitely in safe hands when Nate was my cut stylist in Malawi!

Last night we had our community group Christmas party, complete with the white elephant gift exchange. Some gift items included: snorkels, a used dog scratch-prevention collar cone, and what was dubbed the "before, during, and after" packet replete with tic-tacs, condom, and cigar. We ended up getting a used Jenga game (which I am actually very excited about growing our family game stockpile) . What did we give? An awesome collector's edition of troll dolls from Nate's childhood. There was just about one for every holiday, plus others with the bonus of one-of-a-kind haircuts Nate gave them sometime back in the late 80's, early 90's. Who wouldn't want that? Not me! I was so glad to gift them away. But a Christmas miracle happened. As I was cleaning up from the party after everyone had gone home I kept remeeting these curious little guys! In the silverware tray. On the spice rack. In the shower. Behind the t.p. tray. (Still missing a few but they're less worrisome than the real pumpkins we can't find from the autumn decorations of last month.) I thought I had finally gotten rid of these little ones after taking up space in boxes for years, but now they are back. They apparently are in our home to stay. Obviously I am forcing something that isn't meant to be. Maybe they will be seen again next year as the white elephant. Maybe I should just throw them in a bag with Nate's Ninja Turtles that are sitting on a shelf, waiting until our kids are old enough to play with them. But from now on, you might want to guard your coat pockets when you come over to our house. You might just walk away with a new fluffy-haired friend!

The Turquoise Dresser

2009-12-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

Some people rescue shelter dogs. They maybe start off with one or two and then before they know it they have 13 dogs packing around their home, all saved from the brink at the local shelter. I am becoming somewhat of a rescue furniture owner. I have a big soft spot for tired, old, free furniture that is sitting around mangled and down-hearted.

This is a dresser that Nate's parents gave to us when we moved back to San Diego (thank you!) which they had in turn been given from a neighbor about 20-25 years before. I think we can all agree that it isn't doing much for the energy of anyone looking at it. One day a few weeks ago I got a crazy hair to paint it turquoise! A coat of primer. A coat of turquoise. A rub down with some sandpaper for "old worldy" effect. A final coat of sealer. And tada! A brand new piece.

This is our "new" dresser in turquoise. It's just fun and vivacious to have a large piece of turquoise furniture welcoming you into a room. In my mind's eye it has new, simple silver hardware but new hardware costs money and I don't care enough about the hardware right now to pay for it. Before the remodel I really didn't like the hardware, but now I think it makes more sense.

Some other recent projects have included:
~A free end table we got from the gal who's wingback chair we bought off Craigslist. The table was dirty and it's legs were detached. I cleaned it, repainted it with paint left-over in the garage, and spent a few cents on washers and bolts and now it is sitting pretty in our guest bedroom. It kills me to see people throw away great furniture. I love the free section on Craigslist!

~ An interior 6 panel door. My original thought was to turn it into a headboard, but it wasn't quite right in our room, so now I think I'm going to turn it into a laundry table for the garage.

~ We have a broken bedside table that I'm itching to redo.

I promised my husband and myself that I wouldn't spend all my spare time on the Craigslist free section looking for needy furniture to bring home...only occasionally. And Nate, good man that he is, knows it is really futile to ask me why I would choose to bring broken furniture home, or why I would choose to paint them turquoise. I don't know. Because it sounds like fun!

Christmas Elves

2009-12-13T11:25:00.000-08:00

Last week I got bit by the Christmas bug and flurried into a crafting frenzy. A glue gun and some floral wire can go a long way! Here are some of the things I made on a tight budget.

Fresh Front Door Wreath

Here's a fresh douglas fir wreath. I cut out a rectangle from one side of a large cardboard box we had in the garage and wired on the branches we trimmed off the bottom of our Christmas tree. It's so fun to have a huge wreath on the door. Plus it smells lovely! And the best part? It was completely free! Cost: $0

Christmas Ornament Wreath

I stole this wreath idea from my friend Hillary who in turn had stolen it from a crafting blog. Thanks Hill! It looks really pretty hanging up and is a very simple concept to make, but it proved to be a bit more of a beast than anticipated, mainly because the majority of bulbs on there are plastic flimsy things from the Dollar Tree. But I still want to make more if that is a litmus test of whether or not you're willing to try. All you have to do is take a wire clothes hanger and shape it into a circle. Gather approx. 80 bulb ornaments in varying sizes. You can do whatever color scheme you want. I think for the next one I'm going to do all silvers and maybe some light blues. HOT GLUE the tops down where the hangers attach. Then, string the ornaments onto your wire wreath base. I added a large bow on top mainly to cover the large gap that occurred after I accidentally dropped my wreath on our hardwood floor and sent quite a number of ornaments flying. Including ribbon and ornaments, Cost: $12

Timeline of Christmases Past

I stole an excellent idea from a friend and hung a timeline of Christmases past in our marriage on the fireplace above our stockings. There are a few gaps right now. Apparently we didn't take pictures during our third Christmas together. My goal is to get some stills made from video we have of that year together. And I'm waiting to add this year's pic after I get them from Costco tomorrow. It's already fun to see our Charlie Brown christmas tree our first year of marriage together decorated with Nate's birthday garland b/c we didn't have ANY Christmas decorations all the way up to this year as we wait in expectation of making our family grow to a family of four. Cost: $0.19 for picture development

Everything but the Kitchen Sink Craft Left-Overs Doohicky

This is a bit of Christmas wimsy when I got an itch to make something decorative the other night but didn't have anything on hand. So, I took an old picture frame, hot glued some left-over ribon around the edge, wired on some scraps of decorative spray, decopaged some old christmas cards to dangle down the center, and added a large bow we had on a gift last year. I don't know what it is either if you're wondering. Just some holiday cheer. It was one of those things that was more about enjoying the process of being crafty than needing the end result to be wonderful.
Cost: $0

Poinsetta Spray Wreath

JoAnne's Fabric was practically giving wreaths away last week for $2 a pop. I got to make four wreaths for our four big windows in our back room by just wiring on some poinsettias and ornaments. They make me happy. Total for four of them: Cost: $12

Advent Wreath

Here's our advent wreath. Depending on who you talk to in the family it is either inconveniently or very conveniently sitting low on the cedar chest for optimum toddler intervention. I made a wreath to go around an otherwise boring gold advent candle holder and then added the "Christ" candle in the middle. Selah like to challenge herself by taking the candles out and putting them back in the little holders. It's a fun toddler game. She hid the pink candle in the house somewhere. I'm still looking...By the way, do you know what the four candles on the advent wreath represent? First Candle: Prophet's Candle, signifying the hope of Jesus' coming. Second Candle: Bethlehem candle, in honor of where Jesus was born. Third Candle:Shepherd's Candle. Fourth Candle: Angel's Candle, because of the joyous proclamation at Jesus' birth.
Cost: $4

It's A....

2009-12-11T09:18:00.000-08:00

There you have it! Our baby!

Gender Guessing

2009-12-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

Will it be snips and snails and puppy dog tails or sugar and spice and all things nice? We find out the gender of our baby tomorrow! I usually have a pretty good gut feeling, but in guessing the gender of this baby I feel like my superpowers are askew. I think the problem is that I'm trying to compare this pregnancy with my pregnancy with Selah Grace in Malawi. The external circumstances are so different though that I can't get my bearings on what is this pregnancy and what is being in San Diego.

If I had to choose what I think this little one is, I'd say girl. But maybe this is being swayed because I only know myself as a mom to a daughter. Plus, I can totally see Nate being that guy, that wonderful guy, with a wife and a car full of daughters. He will definitely need his mancave built for him full of workout equipment and playstation games if that turns out to be true. It sounds like a blast though!

What do you think the gender is going to be? Here are some clues:
* I'm still nauseas and throwing up this pregnancy, but usually only every other day instead of every day. HOWEVER my doctor gave me some anti-nausea medicine so that could be the difference in the change.

* I'm carrying slightly lower than last time.

* I want to eat all the dairy products and spicy foods I can get my hands on.

Most of our community group friends think it will be a boy. Most of our family thinks girl. We'll find out tomorrow!

Thanksgiving at the San Diego Zoo

2009-12-04T07:55:00.000-08:00

Meeting Mr. Goat in the petting zoo with Auntie.

Little gorilla girl.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Skyfari Buckets!

Over the Thanksgiving break my mom came out to visit and experienced the new Leboffe family tradition of Thanksgiving Day at the San Diego Zoo. Going to the zoo is so fun for us these days. Selah Grace runs from exhibit to exhibit squealing and laughing at the animals while the rest of us chase behind her and squeal and laugh at the sight of her delight. Then, it's time to eat the very large and yummy Thanksgiving buffet at the Treetop Restaurant in the zoo. It was delicious and none of us did the dishes afterwards!

Christian Catch Phrases

2009-12-03T18:16:00.000-08:00

The other night during our marrieds community group Nate gave the every-familiar instructions of, "pray as you feel led" and had to stop to comment on the awkwardness of saying and hearing what has become such a trite sounding phrase in Christian circles. We then detoured into a brief tangent on other overly used phrases by our generation in the church circle here in southern California.

Here's what we came up with:

- "Pray as you feel led."
- Wanting things to be "organic" (Not as in food, but as in meeting people or beginning new ministries). Our friend Katherine called a spade a spade and revealed that this is usually just code for unorganized.
- "living in the tension" between two things in life you're trying to balance or figure out.

Are there any Christian catch phrases that make you wish you had a dime for every time you hear it?

You Know You're Pregnant When...

2009-12-01T14:26:00.000-08:00

...you have to choose to eat unpurchased snacks while grocery shopping or die.

...you use red lights as opportunities to throw up.

...you big, snotty, ugly cry through comedies like Cheaper By the Dozen 2 and Bride Wars.

...you have to buy new underwear because the bikini briefs that used to do the trick seem to only cover one hemisphere these days.

......you eat grapes, 2 chicken corn dogs, fig newtons, 8 jumbo shrimp with hot sauce, and 1/2 an entire green bean casserole for lunch, while washing it down with a liter of iced tea.

Thanks Giving Pregnancies

2009-11-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

Top: Thanksgiving 2007. 18 weeks pregnant with Selah Grace.
Bottom: Thanksgiving 2009. 17 weeks pregnant with ?.

The patterned dress is a little more foofy, so it might be hard to tell...but I think I stick out farther this round than I did the first time. I'm just glad that I'm past the awkward stage where people think I might be pregnant but are too scared to ask, or think I'm not pregnant but have just been tearing into the holiday treats early. This bump seems to carry a little lower than Selah did. Some people would say that means its a boy. However, the amount of time I spend with my head in the toilet would make others say this one is another girl. Next month's ultrasound will tell!

Learnin' Our Letters

2009-11-14T14:47:00.000-08:00

Yeah, she's a little smarty pants. It's fun to watch her learn.