Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Losing a Layer

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While on a stroller walk through Balboa Park with a friend this morning we touched upon the topic of how many kids we would like to have. (Yes, I know that giving demands to the Creator like I'm ordering up the house special is rather futile but we all have an idea of what we think we would like.) Their family would like to have two. Two seems like a safe number. Parents can mark children man to man and don't have to fall back into zone defense. The whole family can fit into an economical and ecological sedan, along with the family dog. Although adding any number of kids into the equation will inevitably increase the crazy, two kids seems manageable. There can still be a reasonable amount of order with two.

But what happens when you throw in more? Nate and I would like more than two. With three the family still can fit into that cute little car. Sans family dog of course. But teams aren't even when there's only three siblings to play against each other. It's looking like it's going to have to be four.

Another one of my friends, who is a mom of three, said that with the third child a layer of life is stripped away. She isn't saying that the joy in life is taken. She's just saying that the thin barrier between ordering everything to be maintained and maintaining order is gone. When there are three problems that need immediate attention, you work as if in triage. Patch up what's necessary for THIS instant, move on to the next, then go back and smooth everything over. Transaction costs were talked about incessantly in our college political science courses and abstractly in our philosophy courses. I think you only truly understand transaction costs when you become a parent, and then only really feel them deeply when you become a parent to more than one.

If this is already what happens with three, then why not have four? We like the idea of the number four. It's a good round number.

Foreseeable problems to navigate: financing a family of six, driving anywhere together as a family, sharing rooms, listening to unthoughtful/uncensored people balk at the size of our family.

Foreseeable solutions: pressure's on to be incredibly smart and athletic like their daddy, I've always preferred SUV's anyway, that's just the way it's going to be so enjoy the nightly slumber parties, that's their problem not ours!

You may think we're crazy, but I say bring on the chaos! It sounds like a marvelous time!

2 comments:

k said...

hear! hear! says a mom of four, who wishes she had more! The family fun, the joy, the laughter, the chaos, the mess, the noise, the laundry, the triage there is nothing like it in this whole world, short of eternity.To me, it was heaven on earth.

Uncle D said...

As you know we are biased but the value of having kids (by God's grace) cannot be appreciated fully during the time you are in the midst of raising them. It's when you look back and see that it was the greatest time of your life and you wish you had them back togather again with the whole mess as K says. When you are busy raising kids, you sometimes can't see the forest for the trees so it is hard to relax and enjoy it. I don't care how many or few kids you have, the finances will always have to be stretched, there will always be a need to make room, etc, but what a blessed opportunity to be able to influence a child for eternity! Then think of the multiplying into grandkids!! I hope you have 20!!